


Visiting Hours

by Illusinia



Series: Dogs Are Love [1]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-23
Updated: 2015-12-15
Packaged: 2018-02-10 01:58:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 28,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2006673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Illusinia/pseuds/Illusinia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Skye goes to the prison Ward's being held in to ask him a question. It becomes a weekly endeavor. Eventually, the whole team joins in. Coulson just doesn't ask.</p><p>Prelude to Dog Naps.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The first visit, she froze and couldn't go on.

 

Off-white, ugly cream walls- little more than poorly painted cinder blocks- rose around Skye as she approached the cell: her target. But she couldn't do it, couldn't face him. She froze halfway down the hall, just out of sight of the caged man she'd helped put away.

 

Ward.

 

She wanted to talk with him. There were so many questions left unanswered by his betrayal, she just wanted some closure. And yet, she couldn't move forward. Couldn't take the last ten steps towards the bars and their captive. There were no other cells immediately around; it was a safety thing. Men like Ward were considered dangerous. Hell, five guards had offered to escort her over to his cell. She'd only refused because she believes (really believes) he wouldn't hurt her.

 

But all the same, her feet wouldn't carry her forward to his cell. She knew it was because she didn't want to see him this way- trapped inside a cage. Yes, he'd done bad things. Yes, he deserved it. But he's still Ward and some part of her couldn't shake that. Part of her still woke up some mornings and, for just a brief second, groaned about how many push-ups he was going to make her do that day.

 

So for the first visit, she just stood in the middle of the hallway for twenty minutes, out of sight, listening to the sounds of her former SO moving around his cell.

 

\-------------------------------------------------

 

The second time she came back, she made it all the way to his cell.

 

He was seated inside when she stopped just beyond the bars, reading a tattered book the she vaguely recognized as Matterhorne. It looked identical to his copy, beaten and clearly well read. Likely frequently, too. A few other books were stacked around the cell as well- apparently he'd bribed someone into smuggling him things. It was no where near his original collection though.

 

"Come to see the caged monster?" Ward's bitter voice broke into her thoughts like a sledgehammer and, for a second, she forgot why she'd come. He was glaring at her over the top of his book, hurt and anger swirling with something else. Pain, maybe? Betrayal? "Come to see if I broke? Or are you here to pity me?"

 

She shook her head slowly, closing her eyes against his words. He was angry, even though he had no right to be. He'd betrayed them; they were the only ones with the right to be angry. "No. I came to ask why you did it. You never told me."

 

"You didn't want to know," reminded Ward with a scowl, rolling from his bunk and approaching the bars like a predator on the prowl. His eyes flashed, dangerous in the harsh light of the prison.

 

Skye didn't move, just watched silently as he approached her. Months ago, she might have backed away. Now? She just let him approach. Nothing he said at this point could be worse than anything he'd already said or done. "Well, now I do want to know and you owe me at least this much. Why did you join Hydra?"

 

Reaching the bars, the fingers of one hand curled around the hard metal as he stood there, staring at her. Any previous expression he'd been wearing had fallen away at her words, leaving him a blank slate and offering Skye no clue as to what he was thinking. It was eerie, seeing that blank, closed off look again. It had been so long since he'd given her that look, it stung a little now in the face of everything he'd done. Then again, she couldn't really talk; she'd betrayed the team too, just not as badly.

 

For a long moment, he didn't respond, didn't say a word or offer an explanation. He just stared at her with an unreadable expression; he was silent for so long, she thought he wasn't going to answer. Then, he leaned the full weight of his body against the hand wrapped around the bars and rubbed his eyes with his free hand. "Garrett." Those chocolate brown orbs rose to catch hers as his hand fell away, locking her under his stare. "I owed him everything. He gave me a chance, took me in. He turned me into a man, someone strong enough to protect the people who needed protecting."

 

His words made Skye momentarily see red. What about Fitz and Simmons? Didn't they need protecting? "And who were you protecting from Fitz and Simmons? They were your friends."

 

"Garrett," stated Ward quietly. His free hand tightened into a fist, like he wanted to punch someone or something. His eyes fell to the fist, brow furrowing like he couldn't figure out why he was clenching it. "Fitz fried Garrett; it nearly killed him."

 

"So you nearly killed them?" snapped Skye angrily, shaking her head. Ward's fist clenched further and Skye took a deep breath. No, anger wouldn't help. She needed to be calm, otherwise she wouldn't be able to think clearly. And if she couldn't think clearly, she couldn't ask the questions she needed to.

 

"Yes," growled Ward, lightly hitting the bars of his cell with the base of his clenched fist. "Because they tried to kill Garrett."

 

For a long moment, Skye stared at Ward as her mind ran through what he'd said. She already knew he'd dedicated himself to Garrett, but she couldn't figure out why. What had Garrett done to earn the devotion of a man like Ward? She refused to believe everything they'd seen on the Bus was a lie- that just wasn't possible. Besides, every good lie had a grain of truth. Of course, she could walk away right now. She owed Ward nothing at this point and everyone else had given up on him. Plus, he'd answered her question, what more could she really ask from him? Where all of her thoughts were heading would be painful for him, if her growing suspicions were correct. But she hadn't joined the Rising Tide to bury her head in the sand and not seek the full truth either. There was a lot to this story that made no sense, and she wanted to know the full thing.

 

"What did Garrett do to deserve your loyalty?" asked Skye quietly, shaking her head as she looked at her former teammate. "What could Garrett have possibly done to get you to give up your life?"

 

Again, Ward fell silent, like he couldn't find a way to explain his thoughts. His eyes fell as well, locking on some far-off point only he could see. When he spoke at last, it was the last words she'd ever expected. "He was my Coulson, Skye. The one who gave me a chance to grow and become more than I was."

 

"But it's more than that, Ward," argued Skye quietly. "I wouldn't blindly follow Coulson."

 

"Because Coulson didn't save you the way Garrett saved me," growled Ward, glaring at her. "I was _nothing_ before Garrett found me and got me out of that juvenile hell."

 

Skye stared, wide-eyed at Ward. He'd been in juve? Ward had been locked up in juvenile hall? "Why were you in juve?"

 

Ward blinked at her hard, eyes wide with surprise. It was like he didn't expect her to ask such a simple question. And in that horrifying moment, she realized no one probably ever had. If anyone even knew he'd been in there in the first place (and that was a big if given Garrett had brought Ward in and done who-knew-what to ensure he qualified).

 

Pushing away, Ward trailed half-way across his tiny cell. He kept his back to her, his shoulders slumped but his fists clenched. The anger at whatever memory was boiling beneath his skin had him completely on edge in seconds. "Because I tried to kill my brother by burning my parent's house down."

 

Well, okay, that was definitely juve worthy, but Skye could understand why. She understood why he would do that. Hell, if she went though even a fraction of what Ward had hinted at, she might have lit something on fire, too. Of course, it's possible he lied to her about his past, but she somehow doubted everything was a lie. There were times she could see things in his eyes before, and that haunted look can't be faked. It didn't matter how good Ward was.

 

"You were angry," stated Skye quietly. "I can't exactly blame you. I'd be angry, too."

 

"Furious," whispered Ward. He twitched for a second, the only clue Skye had before Ward's fist collided with the wall. It happened so fast, she barely recognized the sound of his flesh striking cement. Blood streaked the wall as he pulled his fist away, a dark red smear across bland white.

 

"Ward?" whispered Skye in horror. Her eyes locked onto his fist and the blood dripping from his open knuckles.

 

Ward's eyes fell to his fist, staring at the blood like it was a foreign substance. But when he looked back up at her and again met her eyes, his entire demeanor changed. It was like everything he'd been feeling- the rage and resentment- disappeared, returning to the mocking sneer he began with. "You know, I'm surprised Coulson let his little pet project visit the animals."

 

The change in topic almost gave Skye proverbial whiplash. For a moment, she wasn't sure what to say. Her eyes strayed to the side as she tried to come up with a valid response. Truthfully though, Coulson-

 

"He doesn't know you're here," stated Ward quietly, his grin turning sharp at the realization. Okay, yes, she'd snuck away to see him. She wanted answers, damnit, and Coulson wouldn't have exactly given her permission. "Wow, Coulson's little protégé, sneaking around behind his back. I think I rubbed off on you a little, Skye."

 

"I'm not stabbing people in the back," countered Skye, huffing a bit as she folded her arms across her chest. Well, not anymore she wasn't. "Besides, I didn't lie about where I was going, I just didn't tell him."

 

"Semantics," dismissed Ward, still smirking. Was he trying to drive her away? That had to be it. He was trying to make her leave. But why? Why would he want to drive her away? "You're breaking the rules, Skye."

 

"There's no rule that says I can't talk to you," stated Skye in confusion, her brow furrowing a little. She didn't think it was possible, but could Ward actually think that was a rule?

 

"I thought it was an unspoken one," replied Ward with a shrug. "Traitors aren't worth the time and all that."

 

Shaking her head, Skye ignored the barb. He was trying to pick another fight and move further away from the matter of his history. She wasn't going to let him. Whatever had happened to him, she wanted to know. Part of her needed to understand how he could do this to them. Thinking briefly back over everything he'd said, something caught in her mind. Ward had said Garrett saved him from Juvie, but if he was in Juvie, that would mean.... “Ward, how old were you when you met Garrett?"

 

"How old were you when you quit school?" countered Ward with a scowl, his reluctance to answer written across his face.

 

He wanted to play that way? Fine. She could play that game. "I was 17. You know, I can just look up when you were released from Juvie."

 

"Except you wiped my identity," reminded Ward with a smirk. "There's nothing for you to look up."

 

Skye couldn't help the laugh that escaped her throat. Seriously, what did he think she did? Did he think she was stupid? "Yeah, I erased your identity in the public sphere. And I backed up all the files on an encrypted hard drive. You don't erase anything online without backing it up first. Data is power."

 

The startled fish look that momentarily slid over Ward's face was almost the best thing she'd ever seen. It was only topped (secretly) by his smile. Not that anyone would ever know that. Nope, she'd never admit that in a million years. "What's wrong Ward? You look surprised."

 

Ward gulped a bit, like he wasn't sure what to say. He still looked like someone had slapped him. He opened his mouth a few times to speak but nothing came out and Skye could see the questions and fears flashing behind his eyes. When he did finally force out words, his voice was rock stable but his tone belied his fears. "Everything?"

 

"Anything I deleted, I backed up," stated Skye simply. "And anything I didn't delete or missed is still out there for me to dig up."

 

Again, Ward gulped hard. She could see definite fear settling in now, and it was more than a little concerning. What was out there that he was so afraid of her finding? "Why? Why keep that information?"

 

Taking a deep breath, Skye took the risk and stepped closer to the prison cell. "Information is power. But beyond that, I'd need the original files if I ever wanted to restore everything. That doesn't mean I can't read it." Her eyes met Ward's, calm but concerned. "Ward, what's in those files that you're so afraid of me knowing?"

 

Ward's mouth thinned into a line, his eyes looking everywhere but at her. "Fifteen, alright? I was fifteen when Garrett saved me."

 

His sudden willingness to share his history with Garrett nearly threw Skye for a complete loop. Whatever was in those files had to be bad for him to react like that. Seriously, what could be worse than what he'd already done? Then, his words struck her. Fifteen. Garrett had access to Ward since he was fifteen. That was a very long time for a psychopath to have access to anyone, much less a kid from a bad home.

 

"Did you join SHIELD at fifteen?" questioned Skye, surprise likely apparent in her voice. Seriously, what else would Garrett have done with a fifteen year old boy?

 

Ward laughed, dry and just a little resentful. "Nope, I wasn't strong enough then. I was still sentimental, weak. I couldn't stand up for myself."

 

"Then what did Garrett do with you?" asked Skye, her stomach twisting into knots. Garrett had access, unmonitored access, to Ward. To a kid who'd been beaten badly enough he tried to set his own house on fire. People didn't start out like that, they grew into that because other people drove them to it and she doubted Garrett cared about that fact.

 

Ward frowned slightly, his eyes finally stopping to rest on some point along the wall of his cell. His face went a little vacant for a moment, his eyes losing focus. When he spoke again, his voice was distant and just a touch bitter. "He taught me how to survive, showed me that I was strong so long as there was someone to guide me." Anger rose in his voice, triggered by some memory Skye couldn't even begin to guess at. "I proved I wasn't weak in those damn woods, even if I did let Buddy go!"

 

The last part of his sentence was more of a shout, accompanied by the sound of his fit striking cement again. Skye took a rapid step back, startled, eyes darting from his face to his fist. The vehemence in his statement though told the story: whoever Buddy was, he'd been given orders he hadn't obeyed. The big question was: who was Buddy? It almost sounded like a dog. "Who's Buddy?" Then the first part of his statement kicked in. "Wait, the woods? What woods? Ward, what the hell did Garrett do to you!"

 

For a long moment, he didn't respond. No denials, no reaction. Just complete silence as he stared at his fist crumpled against the wall. The blood was worse now, the previous clots breaking with the force of the second strike.

 

"He left me in the woods." Ward's statement startled her focus back to his face, though his eyes were still locked on his fist. His words were so soft, it was like he choked on them. Like saying something, anything about Garrett was hard for him. "First it was six months with nothing to help me survive except Buddy. When he came back though, I had a camp set up. We'd survived, Buddy and I. We'd made it. And we continued to make it for five years. We survived on what we hunted, what we found in the woods. I proved to Garrett that I could survive. Proved to everyone I was a survivor and not a weak, sniveling coward!" His other fist hit the wall this time, beside the first. If he kept this up, he wasn't going to have a functioning hand left, damnit.

 

It made Skye want to gather him into her arms and just hold him. His frustration with the world, with how he was treated by Garrett, was so palpable it could choke them both. God, the woods? Garrett was more psychotic than she thought. Than any of them thought. If he was willing to isolate a kid in the woods, leave him there without a leg to stand on... "How did Garrett expect you to survive?"

 

"He wasn't sure I would," growled Ward quietly. "Wasn't sure I'd still be there when he got back. As if I had somewhere else to go. He broke me out of juvie; I didn't exactly have options."

 

Skye's stomach flipped at his words. Hard. Garrett had literally trapped Ward in a situation he knew Ward didn't have an out from and abandoned him in the middle of the woods with nothing but what she assumed was a dog and expected him to survive. It sounded like the beginning of a spy movie, when the bad guy tried to forcefully indoctrinate his human weapon by brain wash- oh. Oh god no. There's no way Garrett would.... but he would. The man was psychotic enough to use psychological torture and intimidation against a kid. A kid from a broken family who wanted nothing more than to be accepted by someone, _anyone_. She knew that feeling all too well.

 

"God Ward, why didn't you tell anyone?" whispered Skye. She understood why he didn't run- if he really had nothing there was no where for him to go. She'd at least had a few personal effects and a sketched out plan when she'd run. A little money she'd been squirreling away bit by bit. Something. It had been something. But she hadn't been running from juvie either. She had to be careful not to get picked up, but they didn't look hard for runaways. Prisoners though? That was a different matter.

 

“What was I supposed to say?” asked Ward quietly, stepping backward and letting his bloody fists drop to his sides. The bright red smears against the wall were a sharp contrast to the otherwise white-washed cinder blocks. As she watched, more blood dripped to the floor with soft thuds. It was like a leaky sink, but with blood instead of water. “Garrett was only making me stronger. He didn't do anything wrong. I was the one who screwed up, who couldn't obey orders.”

 

“Ward, he left you to die,” murmured Skye. Her eyes softened as she stepped closer to the bars. She wasn't supposed to, but she couldn't help it. The urge to comfort him was growing, even after all he'd done. No one deserved to be treated the way he had by Garrett, especially not a kid. “That's not teaching someone to be strong, that's torturing them. Did you even have contact with anyone else in the five years you were in the woods?”

 

“Just Garrett and Buddy,” stated Ward with distant eyes. It was like their conversation was dragging him back to that place. And who knew, maybe that was a good thing. Maybe it would help him grow. She needed to talk to his shrink though (she knew he had one because there was no way he'd pass an entry psychological exam and showed no signs of any of this; she'd seen it when he didn't want her to after a few weeks on the Bus). “Buddy was great. Dogs are better than people.”

 

It was such a Ward thing to say, Skye couldn't help the smile that tugged at the corner of her lips. Yes, it was sad that he believed that; no one should ever be so badly treated by anyone that they would rather deal with another species over their own. But she wasn't going to argue either- at least dogs were loyal. Confirming Buddy was a dog though made the whole matter of Garrett abandoning him in the woods alone all the worst. She might not be a psychologist, but she could recognize the signs of psychological torture when she saw them.

 

“Dogs are better,” agreed Skye softly, shaking her head to try to clear the thoughts away. “What did you do about school? How'd you finish it?”

 

“Didn't,” muttered Ward, shaking his head as his eyes remained locked on the wall. “Never asked to. Never liked school. Garrett gave me books to read when I had down time, stuff I'd need to know. And he got me into the Academy. They taught me anything I'd need in the field.”

 

“And you never asked to go?” questioned Skye quietly. She could understand that; school had always seemed like a waste of time to her. She still believed it was. But Ward had always acted like her not having a high school education was somehow...bad. Maybe it was because he didn't have one either though.

 

“How could I?” muttered Ward, shaking his head slowly. “I was a fugitive from a juvie center. How Garrett made that go away, I don't even know. He literally broke me out of prison, then dropped me into the woods. I owed him and I didn't have any right to ask him for favors. Besides, what good had school ever done me?” His words were hollow and cold, bitter. Like he didn't actually believe what he was saying, but he didn't have any other answer either.

 

And then it hit her. One of her foster mothers had once said 'when people treat you with animosity and not kindness, they are jealous of you'. Skye didn't believe that was true, and she'd seen evidence to the contrary many, many times. But this time, she wasn't sure that wasn't the case.

 

She and Ward weren't that different in terms of where they'd come from: both were children without a stable home; adults who were never shown love as children the way they should have been. Two people who'd never known what family meant. Ward was beaten, she was abandoned. They both knew the pain of feeling unloved. But where Ward had been thrown into juvie, locked away and then taken by a psychopath to escape his family, she'd walked away. She'd told the world to go screw itself and gone her own way. On her own two feet and under her own power. She didn't have a high school education because she'd chosen not to get one; Ward didn't have one because he'd been kept from having one. Because someone else had decided he didn't need it. She wondered if he even knew that might be the cause of his early aggression, that on some level he might have been angry because she'd chosen to do something he wasn't given the option to.

 

“Did you want to go?” asked Skye, her voice quiet. It was a dangerous question to ask, one she wasn't sure he'd even have an answer for. But it was also a question he needed someone to ask. Garrett had driven it into his head that he owed the man something for saving him from his family, and now Ward needed someone to start asking him to think for himself. This was as good a chance as any.

 

“I didn't have a choice,” repeated Ward, shaking his head as he finally broke eye contact with the wall. He didn't look back at her though, his eyes falling to her shoes as he continued. “You should go back to Coulson. He's not going to be happy if he finds out you were here. Master calls, you listen, right?”

 

Part of Skye bristled at his words. She wasn't a dog, damnit! The rational side of her mind though, the part that had begun working as soon as she'd started connecting the dots, saw the move for what it was: an attempt to lash out at her over his own pain and anger. She wasn't going to let him get to her either. “AC isn't my master. If I want to go somewhere, I'll go there. If you could change what happened, would you?”

 

“There's no point in asking that Skye,” growled Ward, spinning in his cell so his back was to her. It was like he thought she'd leave if he turned away from her. “Garrett didn't let me go, so I didn't go. What I wanted didn't matter, it's never mattered. What everyone else wants, that's what I have to do. That's what matters. I don't get what I want.”

 

“That's not what I'm asking, Ward,” repeated Skye calmly, forcing her voice to remain even. “If you _had_ the choice, would you have wanted to go to school.”

 

“I said, it doesn't matter!” snarled Ward, spinning on her suddenly like an animal and stalking towards the bar. “It doesn't matter that I would have liked the choice! It doesn't matter that I wished I could have done something normal for once! I doesn't matter because I can't change what happened!” He was shouting by the time he finished and she could hear guards running towards their position. She held her hand up though as soon as they came into sight, indicating she was fine.

 

Swallowing slightly to push away any nerves, Skye stepped towards the bars and tried to keep herself as calm as possible. “I know you can't change what happened then, Ward, but you might be able to change it no-”

 

“It doesn't matter,” repeated Ward, his voice calm in that moment, sad and filled with resignation. He pushed away from the bars slowly, then turned and dropped onto his bunk. “You should leave Skye. The guards get antsy when I get mad and I don't want you to get in trouble.”

 

Glancing down the hall, Skye could see what he meant. The guards did look particularly unhappy. She didn't pay them any mind though, waving her hand in a gesture of 'go away, I've got this' and stepped even closer to the bars. “I'll leave, Ward. But I'm going to come back.”

 

“Don't bother,” dismissed Ward, turning over on his bed so his back was to her. “You shouldn't bother with a useless man like me. I couldn't even save the man who gave me a chance. I'm not worth anyone's time.”

 

His words broke her heart, but as she stared at his back, she knew repeating her promise wouldn't do any good. He'd just argue with her and if he got mad again, she was afraid the guards would do something rash. So she turned away from the cell, only pausing to add: “See you later, Grant.” And she would. She would be back, regardless of if he wanted her to come back or not.

 

Then she was heading down the hall and towards the anxious looking guards. She'd have to assure them everything was alright before she left, just to make sure they didn't do something stupid. And she needed to speak with Ward's shrink. There was an idea forming in her head and it could be really good or really bad, she wasn't sure which, but she wanted to run it by his head-doctor anyway. After all, if this would help him gain some kind of footing in his life, it was worth doing.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long. Anyone who's reading more of my work than just this knows the theme of Skye looking into Ward's past is one I'm using several places right now and keeping that information straight (because she does find different things each time) makes the whole thing more complicated.

\- Chapter 2 -

 

Staring at the files in front of her, Skye tried to make sense of the notes she was seeing. Her chat with the shrink had resulted in a lot of roadblocks courtesy of doctor-patient privilege (she wasn't even aware that still existed in the prison system) and he wouldn't even tell her anything about Ward's treatment or therapy. About the only thing the man had said was that Skye should definitely visit again. Apparently, Ward had revealed more to her in one conversation than he had to the doctor in the past six months.

 

Annoyed by the lack of information, Skye's first stop when she reached the Playground again was to head into the computer room Coulson had set up for her. It was like a robot's wet dream come true: every piece of equipment she could ever want, ever, was literally shoved in the room. The computers were all high end, the servers tightly secured. Sadly, she also found the room overwhelming so she barely used it. What she needed today, however, was the large ass bank of monitors set up along one of the walls. It held a lot more surface area than her beat up laptop and she'd need it to find the files she was after.

 

It wasn't that the files were particularly large, it was more the sheer number. When she'd erased their histories, all she'd had time to do was wipe the public records and some of the government ones as well. Her search hadn't been as...exhaustive as she would have liked, but it got most of the files out of the way. Anything she hadn't found would take a lot more digging to pull up. And when she'd erased everything, she hadn't had the time to sort it all. So now she had a flash drive full of files, all pertaining to seven different people, and she needed only the files dealing with one. And a large number of those files were SHIELD ones, to boot. Thankfully, the Playground's servers contained copies of all files originally held on all SHIELD servers. That coupled with the truly phenomenal data leak released by Agent Natasha Romanoff (who Skye was going to shake the hand of/hug if she ever met her because damn that was an impressive move), she had pretty much everything available digitally on record. Of course, she was going to make phone calls to/hack the necessary agencies once she had a little more information about where Ward had grown up and a general time line of his life; running a second, more exhaustive search of Ward's history was a must.

 

Digging through Ward's past like this felt like a massive violation of his privacy, but the reality was that she was ultimately doing this to help him. Before today, she'd only wanted a reason for his betrayal. She hadn't realized how complicated that simple question could be. The only one who might have known was AC, and she doubted he would discuss it. He'd been off for weeks, not that she was going to tell Ward that. Nope, whatever issues AC was having would stay with the team.

 

Taking a deep breath, Skye forced herself to begin going through the files. Anything and everything that even mentioned Ward was pulled. Even if he was a damn footnote, she pulled the file. Who knew what could help piece together the shattered pieces of Ward's past? The shrink's notes weren't digitized for the most part and the reports only sighted the conditions Ward was presenting. It would take a lot more than that for her to figure out what was going on.

 

Three hours later, however, Skye was still facing the same questions she had been when she started. All of the SHIELD files pretty much just praised Ward's field skills while admonishing his interpersonal ones. There were no signs of any kind of a psychological evaluation, despite the fact that medical had cited concerning marks on Ward's body. Specifically, they'd noted healed fractures and scars consistent with child abuse. Still, Skye could find no indication that SHIELD had pressed for information on the matter. There were no psychological examinations, no further testing, and no further remarks from medical outside of one document.

 

And none of that told Skye why Ward had betrayed them. None of that explained his comment about the woods or Garrett saving him from Juvie. Hell, she hadn't even found a Juvie record; not yet at least. That didn't mean it wasn't there of course, it just meant she hadn't found it during the initial search. And given she hadn't exactly been looking for a record (or suspected Ward had one; it was Grant freaking Ward, mister 'lives by the book' after all), it was probably still out there unless someone else deleted it. Garrett might have done that of course, or someone else in Hydra. But even if they had, there were other files. She would know; she'd cleared her own juvenile record before she escaped, just in case someone picked her up. Clearing those files could be a real pain, too. It definitely wasn't something just anyone could do.

 

Leaning back in her chair for a moment, Skye rubbed her eyes in an attempt to clear the heavy feeling from her lids. She should probably take a break from all of this, but somehow she couldn't. Not until she knew a little more. Just a little. Just another hour, then she'd take a break.

 

It sounded silly, even to her, but Skye couldn't stand the idea of walking away from the consoles without at least looking a  _little_ more for the answers she wanted. Part of this was her natural determination to know the truth- she knew that. But there was another part too, one Skye was trying really hard to pretend didn't exist. It was the part of Skye that felt like walking away from this research, even for a few minutes, would be like walking away from Ward. Even though the two were in no way connected, even stepping away for a moment made Skye feel like she was turning her back, just a little, on her former SO. That was stupid of course. After everything he'd done to them, she shouldn't feel guilty about stepping away from digging into his past. But the little voice in her head that kept insisting Ward was just like her, that everyone had turned their back on him so he'd turned his back on everyone else first this time, wouldn't let up. So neither did Skye. She just fell back into her research, using some preliminary information about where Ward had been born to search for police or juvie records associated with his name. It was a long shot, but she was going to at least try. 

 

“What are you doing that's got you so hard at work?” A voice cut through the room, startling Skye so badly she jumped out of her chair and spun to physically block her monitors from view. Crap. Crap, crap, crap. Who was in her sanctuary? If anyone on the team caught her looking into Ward's past, she wouldn't have a good explanation for why. She needed to make something up, now. Maybe, she was looking for who'd turned him? Some sign he'd turned others who might still be in SHIELD? Yeah, that could work. 

 

“Skye? Is everything alright?” Her eyes shot down as the voice from before broke through her thoughts again. Beside her chair, the one she'd just vacated, was none other than Fitz. His calm, blue eyes blinked worriedly up at her, brow drawn into a sharp furrow. One of his hand's rested on the large wheel of his chair and the other wrapped around a thermos of coffee. A thermos he lifted in her direct a moment later. “I brought you some coffee. Thought it might help you work.”

 

Immediately, Skye relaxed a little. Fitz, she should have guessed. He was a lot quieter than the others with his chair rather than heavy boots. It explained how she didn't hear him approaching. Reaching out, she took the thermos and set it aside, careful to continue blocking the monitors from view. “Thanks Fitz, I need this.”

 

“So what are you working on?” asked Fitz curiously, attempting to catch a glimpse of the monitors. “Anything interesting?”

 

“Not really,” dismissed Skye easily. “Just tracking some data for Coulson, you know how it goes.”

 

Fitz nodded sagely, wheeling backwards a bit. “Right, well, if you need anything, just call.”

 

“Thanks Fitz,” thanked Skye, watching as the engineer rolled dejectedly from the room. 

 

A pang of guilt echoed through Skye, so much so that she almost called him back. But she bit her tongue all the same. Chances were that Fitz wouldn't say a thing to Coulson or anyone else about Skye investigating Ward's past, but she didn't want to risk it either. Simmons could get anything out of Fitz and she would definitely go to Coulson, who would not only stop Skye's research but insist the hacker not visit Ward again. And that? That wasn't an option. Skye had already decided she would go back (hell, Ward's shrink though it was a good idea), but this time she wasn't going to go back empty handed.

 

\-----------------------------------------

 

“What is all that?” asked Ward as Skye stepped in front of his cell. She could hear her former SO as he stood up and she peered around the stack of books in her arms to grin at him.

 

“Books,” replied Skye with the best shrug she could manage given her over-loaded arms. She dropped the books haphazardly in front of Ward's cell, right up against the bars, and turned to fully face her SO. “Thought you'd recognize them given how much you love to read.”

 

Ward's exasperated look told her that wasn't what he meant. Of course, she knew that. She was intentionally trying to push his buttons, just like she had before. He seemed calmer today, less callus and angry, more like the calm man she knew before. “I meant  _why_ are you carrying a large stack of books through a  _prison_ .”

 

Okay, there was the touch of anger she'd been expecting. If he really thought being a little short with her would drive her off though, he had another thing coming. Then again, he might actually  _remember_ she was persistent as hell. His anger didn't scare her; he'd sworn once he wouldn't hurt her and, despite everything, he'd never actually done anything to hurt her. Even when she was pressing his buttons.

 

Shrugging again, she dropped down to sit, cross legged, in front of Ward's cell and slipped the backpack from her back. “I told AC I was going somewhere quiet to study.”

 

“So you come to a prison?” stated Ward in semi-disbelief, shaking his head as he dropped back onto his cot. “You are insane.”

 

“And you are basically in solitary,” pointed out Skye as she pulled out a large binder and a notebook. “I can't think of a better, quieter place to study.”

 

“A library might work,” suggested Ward dryly, his irritation at her invasion becoming more apparent. Still, he dropped back to lay on his cot, staring at the ceiling. Skye just shrugged as she cracked open one of the books and began to skim the page while jotting down notes.

 

The quiet lasted about twenty minutes before Skye let out an unhappy groan. “Ugh, I hate these stupid reading comprehension questions. Why do we care what the bird represents? Why can't it just be a bird?”

 

From his cot, Ward let out a grunt. For a moment, the only sound was that of Skye grumbling as she struggled with the English portion of her studies before Ward's voice suddenly cut through the room. “Because it changes the meaning of the story.”

 

Skye contorted herself to glance at the man on the cot, though he didn't even glance at her. “What?”

 

“The bird,” elaborated Ward, eyes locked on his ceiling. “What it represents matters because it changes the meaning of the story.”

 

“What do you mean?” asked Skye, turning her full attention to Ward as she leaned forward against the cell bars. Her eyes watched her former SO's face, looking for some sign that could tell her was was going through his head. She definitely wasn't a mind reader though and Ward was as impassive as always.

 

Sighing, Ward closed his eyes and folded his arms under his head as he spoke. “Like....freedom. A bird in a cage can represent someone trapped in a situation. When the bird is let go, it's free. If the story is about a bird being kept by a...a soldier because he saved the bird from a horrible fate, it's a story about human compassion. About someone saving another life. And if the bird represents, say, a kid the soldier always wanted but never had, that changes the context more.”

 

Slowly, Skye nodded, unable to avoid the blatant parallels between Ward's current situation and that of the metaphorical 'bird' they were discussing. It didn't take an English genius to see he was projecting. “Okay, so a bird being held forcefully in a cage. That would change the meaning of the bird?”

 

“Not necessarily,” sighed Ward, finally opening his eyes and rolling his head to glance back at her. “It depends on why the bird is in the cage to begin with. If the bird was injured and cared for, but wants to leave now that it's better and isn't allowed to, that bird could represent sought-after freedom. But if the bird is allowing itself to be held because it has nowhere else to go and doesn't know what to do without it's new caregiver, then the story changes again.”

 

“Okay, I get that,” dismissed Skye with a shake of her head. “But how does that change the story?”

 

“It determines if the man holding the bird is a caregiver or a prison-keeper,” explained Ward, his solemn eyes meeting Skye's as he spoke.

 

Idly, Skye wondered if Ward was aware he was talking about himself: that he was empathizing with the bird in this unwritten story; wondered if Garrett was a caretaker or a prison-keeper in his mind. She knew who she thought Garrett was, but it was hard to guess with Ward. And right now, she didn't want to ask. After his clear show of rage during her previous visit, she just wanted to try to keep him calm. Clearly, Garrett is something he doesn't want to talk about. At least, not directly.

 

“I think it depends on the perspective of the bird,” replied Skye carefully, not pushing, just speaking in calm, neutral tones that would (hopefully) keep Ward just as calm. “We never hear his perspective.”

 

“Because the bird's perspective doesn't matter,” dismissed Ward, tone just a touch bitter as his eyes returned to his ceiling. “The bird just does what it's told.”

 

“Maybe that's because no one's ever bothered to ask the bird what he wants,” suggested Skye softly, eyes never leaving Ward's reclined form. Part of her wanted to crawl up and curl beside him, but she knew it would be unwanted attention even if she could get into his cell.

 

Ward remained completely silent for a long moment, her words echoing soundlessly through the space. It was a question he was probably never asked and One he might not even know the answer to. After a minute or two though, he shot restlessly off his cot and pushed himself into a standing position. The violent energy that surrounded him last time he started punching the walls flared up like a wildfire in a dry forest. Almost violently, he shoved a hand through his hair with a faint growl. “The bird doesn't know what it wants.”

 

Skye felt the wind leave her lungs as if she'd been physically punched. Those words were perhaps the most honest thing she'd ever heard Ward say, and it  _hurt_ to know he felt that way. Physically hurt in a way she'd only experienced a handful of times. That one statement, so simple, summarized everything the files she'd spent the past week pouring over had told her: that Ward never had a choice. That he'd never been given a chance to learn who he was as a person. He'd never been himself once in his life.

 

Without thinking about it, Skye reached into the cell, offering her hand to Ward. Yeah, it probably wasn't smart, but she couldn't stand the look on his face. No matter what had happened before, he was free to be himself now. And he didn't have to face that alone. “Then it's a good thing the bird has friends who are willing to help him figure it out.”

 

Silently, Ward turned to stare at her hand for a moment before turning back to his cot and dropping heavily onto it. His head dropped forward, fist tightening and relaxing in a visual show of his frustration. Skye knew what it felt like to be powerless, to not know why, but she couldn't even begin to understand what it was like not to know what you wanted.

 

Withdrawing her hand (because Ward clearly didn't want to take it), Skye turned back to her books. Again, they fell into silence for nearly ten minutes, broken only by Skye's irritated grumbling and complaints. Her focus became so drawn into her practice exams that she didn't even hear Ward move until his voice came from right near her head. “What are you studying for, anyway?”

 

Glancing back, she nearly jumped a little when she realized his back was against the bars right beside her own, simply on the opposite side of the barrier Shifting around so she could look at him, Skye passed the book to him through the bars of his cell. “I'm studying for my GED.”

 

Ward glanced at the book, scowling a touch bitterly at the bound tome. “You aren't supposed to pass the prisoners things.”

 

“Yeah, and I'm not supposed to reach inside the cells or lean on the bars either,” pointed out Skye dismissively. “I'm not afraid of you.”

 

A dry laugh rose from Ward's throat, scoffing and bitter. “You should be, though. Monsters eat people like you.”

 

Skye just shrugged a bit, carefully reaching through the bars to gently press her fingers to Ward's arm. He jumped at the contact, scooting a bit back but otherwise making no threatening motion towards her. “Except  _you_ promised once you wouldn't hurt me. And even when I was hitting and punching you, you kept that promise. You've done  _nothing_ to indicate you weren't being truthful, so until you prove me wrong, I'm not gonna worry about you eating me.” She bit her lip to keep the rest of that sentence from coming out. It wouldn't exactly be appropriate to make a joke about him eating her, after all. Well, right now it wouldn't.

 

Apparently he could see the joke on her face though, because he rolled his eyes a little like he did when she was being exasperating and carefully leaned back against the bars again. But he left her fingers where they were, not bothering to dislodge the digits. “Does your mind live in the gutter?”

 

“Pretty much,” admitted Skye with a shrug, shifting so her shoulder was leaning on the bars and she could glance at the book as well. “You should know that by now.”

 

“Trust me, I do,” assured Ward with a sigh, flipping the book open. “Your jokes made it really, really hard to train you.”

 

“How?” asked Skye in surprise. He'd always seemed exasperated by her jokes but he'd never done anything that made her think it somehow made his job harder.

 

“Because every time you made one, I wanted to make a joke back,” explained Ward, eyes turned down at the pages. “I'm not as tightly wound as I pretended to be and it was really hard to remain detached.” A touch of what looked like a blush began to spread on his cheeks a bit. “And training isn't exactly a hands-off experience...”

 

Oh. Well, that explained a hell of a lot. Suddenly, Ward's clear discomfort in the face of her blatantly inappropriate jokes made a lot more sense. Now she felt a little bad, except not really because if he hadn't been lying to them that whole time, it wouldn't have been an issue. “So, basically, you got pissed every time I made a joke because you wanted to actually act like a human?”

 

Ward's only response was to shift and flip through the book she'd handed him. For a very long time, he was silent as he skimmed the text, eyes darting around the page. It was weird to see him so calm when he'd been so pissed off before. There was a tick in his jaw though that indicated his anger maybe wasn't as far beneath the surface as he was making it seem. Silently, Skye wondered if he was imagining what it would be like to actually take the GED himself, rather than having Garrett fake the results.

 

“This isn't bad, you'll do fine.” Ward's dismissive comment snapped Skye out of her thoughts to find her book being held out in front of her face. He didn't look surprised that she had zoned out though as he patiently held the bound guide out to her.

 

She took the book back, dropping it into the pile beside her with an unhappy sigh. Yeah, sure she'd do well. If she got really, really lucky and they gave her a really easy test. “Wish I had your optimism.”

 

“Skye, look at me.” It was a quiet request, one that caught Skye completely by surprise. So much so she did as he asked without question. Which she really, really shouldn't be doing. He wasn't her SO anymore and she didn't need to do what he said without thought. Even if that had kept her alive in the field. More than once.

 

Leveling his gaze at her, Ward held her eyes with his own as he spoke. “You'll do fine, Skye. You're smart.” She could hear that edge of bitterness that had leaked into his voice before, except now it was void of the anger he'd expressed before. “You'll pass this thing if you want to.”

 

“You could do it too,” pointed out Skye without thinking. The words were barely out of her mouth and she was already cursing bringing this up again. The guards had made it clear that she couldn't keep making Ward mad, otherwise they'd have to bar her from visiting (though his shrink said there was no way in hell that would actually happen; apparently, the anger was both expected and considered good).

 

“Skye,” growled Ward lowly, pushing away from the bars of his cell almost immediately. He practically prowled across the small space to his cot, flopping down like he had the day before. “I already told you that was ancient history.”

 

“I'm not talking about then, Ward,” argued back Skye, rising to her knees in an attempt to see his face. “I'm talking about now. Screw what happened before, it doesn't matter. You have that option now.”

 

For a long moment, silence hung between them. It was a silence that made Skye itch. She'd never done well with quiet before and she really didn't handle it well when one of the people involved in said silence might be having some kind of weird mental crisis.

 

It was a minute longer before his words broke the silence. “No, I don't. Garrett never gave me a choice. I don't have one now, either.”

 

Frustration welled up inside of Skye, but she forced it down again. Ward had been brainwashed or, well, he was suffering from _some_ kind of kidnapping-induced attachment issues. Everyone knew that by now. If Skye wanted to get through to him, she needed to be patient. “Why not?”

 

His eyes finally turned back towards her, brow furrowing in what looked like frustration. It colored his words when he spoke. “'Why not' what?”

 

“Why don't you have a choice now,” repeated Skye, her eyes meeting his frustration with confusion. “Garrett isn't here. He's not making the calls anymore. The only person who can make these decisions anymore is you.”

 

Fear ghosted over Ward's features like a tidal wave. It was so strong, even Skye felt momentarily terrified. So much so that she actually checked her surroundings to make sure Ward hadn't seen something she hadn't. But the hall was empty like always, Ward's cell still the only occupied space in the hall. It was something she'd just said that terrified him then. And she'd bet money she knew what. The problem was, she had no clue how to ease his fears. How do you convince someone who's afraid to make their own decisions to actually _make_ their own decisions?

 

“Garrett didn't give me a choice,” repeated Ward at last, his words practically choked by the fear she could see on his features. “He didn't think I was good enough to take the test. If he didn't think I could do it then, I can't do it now.”

 

Again, Skye felt her stomach twist violently at his words. It was so sharp, she nearly threw up on the spot. “That's not true, Grant. You're so smart- smarter than I am. You could take this test and ace it. And anything you think you can't do, you can learn. I've seen you-”

 

“I said no!” shouted Ward, the anger simmering beneath the surface exploding forward in a single, sharp exclamation. But unlike the last time when he'd began punching walls, Ward pulled his pillow over his head and held it over his ears like the thin cotton would somehow block out her words.

 

It was such a childish thing to do, Skye actually questioned if any of the last five minutes was real or if she'd fallen asleep in the prison hallway. Except Ward was curled up like a child and it didn't take a psychologist to realize Ward was reacting in a way he knew. How he hadn't reacted like this before, Skye wasn't sure but she was willing to bet it was related to Garrett. At least he wasn't punching things this time. His shout hadn't brought the guards running this time either.

 

Falling backwards so she was resting on her ass rather than the balls of her feet, Skye crossed her ankles in front of her and just waited for Ward to sit up again. Trying to talk to him wasn't going to help, but she'd never been good at waiting either. So she picked up her study book again and tried to focus on the words on the page rather than the man curled up on the cot, tension thrumming through her body as she waited for him to say something: anything. Waited to hear any sound that would indicate he was up and moving around behind her.

 

When the guards showed up at 3:45 to tell her visiting hours were almost over, Ward still hadn't moved from where he was curled on her cot. Skye actually wondered if he'd killed himself somehow, but a quick glance revealed he was just asleep. Her heart broke a little as she noticed the way his body was tense and his head was still burrowed between the pillow. Ward was no child, but it was the only comparison Skye could come up with. This man had spent his whole life being abused, being told what to do. She had evidence of that on her computers at the Playground. And now, when he had the chance to break that cycle, he was burying his head (literally) in an attempt to get away.

 

Sighing, she gathered her things quietly, pausing only to slip a copy of her GED prep book into the cell (after letting one of the guards flip through it first of course; he scoffed but handed the volume back to her all the same). Honestly, she expected it to be gone when she came back. But if it just put the idea in Ward's head, just as a reminder that he had a choice, then maybe it would help. Maybe, just maybe, it would start helping him break out of this state. Hell, even if he said no (not 'I can't' but 'I don't want to'), it would be his choice. And that was what she wanted: for Ward to make the choice. Not her, not Garrett: Ward. It needed to be his choice. Besides, the idea he had a choice, that was the most important thing. Once that sank in, he could began to take back his life and heal.


	3. Chapter 3

-Chapter 3-

 

A week later, when Skye returned, a guard stopped her at the gate. She tried to show him the badge she'd been given by the prison warden, but he still wouldn't let her in or tell her why she couldn't go in. Instead, he delayed her until a second guard showed up and escorted her inside. Only this guard didn't take her to Ward's cell or even the prison waiting area. Instead, he guided her into the offices at the prison, finally depositing her in Ward's shrink's office.

 

Dr. Calgrove was a very unassuming man, relaxed and calm. He was younger than Skye would have expected, but he was significantly more skilled than he looked. Between his full head of blond hair, sharp green eyes, and welcoming face definitely didn't belong in a prison, but he was there all the same with the hope of doing some good. At least, that was the excuse he'd given Skye.

 

“Skye, please, take a seat,” greeted Calgrove, his mouth set in a firm line that had Skye half bolting for his desk. Fear gripped her chest like a vice as every bad thing that could have happened to Ward ran through her head. That was the only reason she'd be called in here, too. Something bad had to have happened to Ward.

 

“Don't bullshit me, what happened to him,” demanded Skye leaning on Calgrove's desk rather than sitting down. She didn't do well at holding still when she was worried and her worry was spiking through the roof.

 

Calgrove raised an eyebrow but didn't deny her accusations or repeat his request for her to sit down. Instead, he stood up as well and came around to lean against his desk beside where she was standing. “Ward is alright physically.”

 

“Physically,” repeated Skye, relaxing a little bit. If he was alright physically, at least that meant he hadn't been assaulted. She knew his psychological issues ran deep though, and if he'd had some kind of psychological break, it could be worse than if he had been beaten. “Then what happened.”

 

Calgrove grimaced then turned his monitor around to reveal a paused bit of surveillance video. Skye could just make out Ward on the grainy tape through the bars of his cell. It didn't look right though. A few of the books that had been so neatly stacked before were laying outside his cell and the sheets on his cot, normally made up with military precision, were rumpled like someone had violently pulled them from the mattress.

 

The shrink didn't say a word to explain the video, just hit play and let the video do the talking for him.

 

Screaming filled the office as the video began to play, so loud and anguished that Skye nearly had to cover her ears. Inside the cell, Ward was throwing things, punching the walls, everything. It was like watching a man possessed. There was nothing intelligible in what Ward was screaming; it was little more than grief-ridden shouts and moans. They watched in silence as he picked up book after book and other assorted items inside his cell and just threw them around, even going so far as to up-end his cot at one point. The destruction was intense and all encompassing; it also continued until guards swarmed the cell, throwing a canister inside the cell with Ward. The sound of tearing and breaking objects, now interspersed with coughing, ceased a moment later. Then the guards were opening the door and pulling Ward from inside. They loaded him onto a gurney and in minutes he was being taking away. Calgrove froze the video as soon as Ward was out of frame, turning his focus back on Skye.

 

She just stood there, staring at the frozen screen as she tried to process what she'd just seen. Ward, calm, cool, collected Ward, had just thrown what amounted to a temper tantrum and trashed his cell. If it was in grief or rage she wasn't sure, but based on the noise he'd been making, she'd bet on grief. “Where is he?”

 

“In observation,” replied Calgrove with a sigh, leaning forward a little. “We took him off the sedation a little while ago, but he hasn't woken up yet and won't for some time. What I want to know is what caused this.”

 

“I'd like to know, too,” muttered Skye, eyes still locked on the screen as the haunting echoes of his screams rang in her ears.

 

For a long moment, Calgrove said nothing. All he did was watch Skye (she could feel his eyes on her). Then, he opened his desk and pulled out two objects, which he lay on his desk. “These tell me that you might already know.”

 

Skye slowly pulled her eyes away from the TV, dropping them to look down at the two items laid out in front of her. One was her GED book, the one she'd left with Ward the last time she was at the prison. The other was a photograph of her that she'd never seen before. It had been taken while she was in the lounge with one of SHIELD's many manuals in her lap; her eyes were focused down on the page, her legs curled up to hold the book. There was nothing sexy or appealing about the photo, it was just a normal, everyday photo. And yet, for some reason, Ward had taken and kept it.

 

“This book is yours, I'm assuming,” remarked Calgrove, tapping the GED book. His finger moved then to tap the photograph. “And this photo is of you. You are the common denominator in this equation.”

 

“I don't know why,” stated Skye, shaking her head as she turned away from both objects and shoved a hand into her hair. “He sounded upset. Maybe he got frustrated or...” Her words trailed off as a thought suddenly struck. Almost immediately, she spun to look at the screen again, then at Calgrove. “Has he done anything like this since he got here? Shown any kind of emotion?”

 

“Before you began visiting, he was basically a mute statue,” replied Calgrove with a shrug. “His emotional reaction to you, even if it was out of anger, was one of the reasons I wanted you to come back. He was very controlled with everyone else and he's isolated from other inmates because of his traitor status, so his social interaction was restricted to the guards.” One of Calgrove's eyebrows rose in clear interest. “Why?”

 

Skye bit her lip silently as she stared at the screen, debating how much to reveal to the man in front of her. She didn't want to tell him everything (she didn't trust him at this point, period), but Ward also wasn't going to be giving anything up either. And there were a few things it might help if Calgrove was at least aware of.

 

Sighing, she leaned on the edge of the desk and picked up the photo Ward had been keeping of her. “He lost his...mentor the day he was arrested. When they lead him out, he was pretty steely. But....”

 

“But,” encouraged Calgrove, what had to be his interested shrink face directed at her. It was creepy, but Skye forced herself to continue all the same.

 

“But, he never really reacted to it,” explained Skye with a shrug. “At least, never that I saw. And last time I was here, the subjects we were discussing involved his mentor.”

 

Another long moment of silence passed as Calgrove absorbed what Skye had said. His fingers tapped lightly against the desk, head nodding slightly with his thoughts. When he did finally break stance, his eyes fell on Skye. “You think he's mourning the death of his mentor.”

 

“Yes,” confirmed Skye quietly, her mind already racing ahead to what that might mean. She wasn't an expert spy, but she'd been around long enough to know something about people. And she knew from personal experience what it felt like to want to destroy everything when stuff finally hit. She'd had her own destructive bouts o' rage. And the key targets had always been things she associated with the person she'd lost. “Can I see his cell?”

 

Calgrove looked a little reluctant but nodded all the same. “I thought you'd want to see him.”

 

“I do,” confirmed Skye quietly, picking up the photograph from Calgrove's desk and pocketing it. He didn't say a word about it. “But I want to see his cell first. I have a theory.”

 

The raised eyebrow was back. “Care to share?”

 

“Not until I'm sure,” replied Skye, turning back towards the door to the office. She liked Calgrove, really, she did. But she never trusted anyone who could bring themselves to think they know more about her brain than she does. And that goes double for anyone dealing with Ward. If she was right about what she suspected, then maybe (maybe) she'd tell him.

 

She paused by the door, shooting Calgrove an expectant look. He resisted for all of a minute before he was up and following her to the door. It was her turn to trail behind him as they headed through some hallways she hadn't used before and out into the prisoner areas. It was quieter than she expected until she realized they were in the observation wing. Part of her wondered if Calgrove was just leading her to where Ward currently was being held (she thought she might have even spotted his cell on the way through), but they never stopped at any of the many rooms. Instead, they went through the observation wing and into a split hallway. Calgrove sharply turned to the left, Skye trailing behind as they went through another door and stepped into the cell block where Ward had been housed.

 

His cell stood alone and open, as it had all other times. The three cells directly across from it and two to either side were empty as they had been before. In fact, it looked just as it had every time Skye had visited before, with one exception.

 

Ward's cell was completely trashed.

 

It was even worse than it had looked in the video. What had before looked like a simply torn bed was clearly trashed. The sheets were torn from where they'd been ripped clean of the mattress and the mattress itself had actually been upended. His precious books were scattered around the room, pages ripped clean from the spine and scattered around like flecks of snow. The rest of his things were thrown, but it mostly looked like collateral damage.

 

Stepping into the cell silently, Skye carefully picked her way among the wreckage in search of something, anything, that could support her theory. The two objects that Calgrove had presented her with were undamaged, so her suspicions were already at least partially supported. But she really needed to look at the rest of Ward's books to confirm what she was thinking. Namely, that Ward had intentionally attempted to destroy anything that was connected with Garrett. And given he didn't  have any photos of his former SO, the books he'd been assigned would have to work as surrogates.

 

And it was the books that were really trashed.

 

Like Skye had suspected, the titles she remembered Ward talking about Garrett assigning him looked to be the most damaged. One just fell completely apart as she picked it up, the pages tumbling free like someone had swung it around violently by the cover or paper rather than the spine. Another had been nearly torn in half. Some of the pages couldn't even be read, they were so trashed. Yeah,Ward had definitely been targeting things he associated with Garrett. It didn't explain why he suddenly turned into a Tasmanian devil, but at least now she knew the source.

 

“Care to share yet?” asked Calgrove, his voice cutting through her thoughts and almost making her jump out of her skin. Almost. She really needed to not forget he was there.

 

Turning to the psychologist, she offered him a shrug and pushed her hands into her pockets. “He targeted stuff related to his SO.” There was more of course; her conversation with Ward about Garrett's abuse and the GED could have pushed him over the edge. It could have opened a rift he couldn't close and ultimately caused him to destroy his room. But again, she didn't want to talk to Calgrove about it yet. Not before she spoke with Ward.

 

“So his breakdown was related to John Garrett then,” stated Calgrove, curiosity in his tone. “I must say, you just told me more than he has in the past month. But I'm guessing there's more there you aren't sharing.”

 

“I want to talk with Ward,” requested Skye, though it's more commanding than requesting.

 

If that bothered Calgrove though, he didn't let it show. “He's in psych for observation.”

 

Turning away from the cell, Calgrove motioned for her to follow again. And follow she did, back through the winding halls and caverns of the prison towards the observation wing they'd been in earlier. Sure enough, they come to a stop at one of the rooms, which Calgrove opens before motioning for Skye to enter.

 

About 12 beds rest inside the observation room, winged by heart monitors and IV stands. It would look like any hospital room, with the exception of the lock on the door and the fact that there's handcuffs on the beds. Ward is cuffed to the second cot on the left, sprawled across it like someone had dumped him there haphazardly. His prison uniform torn and damaged in places and a bit of blood stained the cloth. If it was his own doing or the result of the scuffle with the guards, she wasn't sure. He didn't look any worse for wear though.

 

Without thinking much about it, Skye sat on the edge of the cot and took Ward's closest hand. The calluses of his fingers were familiar against her palm, soothing in a way that reminded her what it felt like to be safe with him. Of course, he's not someone she's supposedly safe with anymore, but that remained to be seen all the same. There was more to this story than she knew- a lot more. And she wasn't about to let it go either. The truth was the truth and it was all she'd cared about for the longest time. This time was no exception.

 

\---------------------

 

Fingers tightened around her hand, drawing Skye's attention to the man sleeping beside her. It had been almost an hour since she'd entered the prison hospital. Calgrove had been polite enough to bring her the GED book she'd left for Ward, so at least she was able to study while she waited. It was balanced on her lap now, flipped open to a page on critical reading.

 

Still, her eyes trailed away from the page for a moment to check on Ward where he lay. His eyes were shut and his body otherwise still though, breathing even as he slept on. He'd tightened his grip on her fingers a few times over the past hour, body tensing and twitching in his artificial sleep. She didn't really want to think too much about what he could be dreaming about; it was too depressing. Convinced he was still asleep, she turned back to her book and attempted to focus.

 

Not that she'd been able to at any point since she entered the room; her mind was too busy wondering what would happen when he woke up. He wouldn't be happy, that was for sure. She was just hoping he didn't flip out still. Though she'd never support drugging him, she recognized that it was the only option they'd really had to stop him. Otherwise he might have hurt himself and that would have been worse.

 

“You really need to learn where the library is.”

 

Ward's voice had Skye's attention snapping towards him immediately. His brown orbs blinked at her groggily, but he seemed lucid enough to understand what she was doing. The fingers around her own hadn't let go yet though.

 

Offering him a gentle smile, she set the book aside and leaned forward. “Libraries suck. They're always telling you to be quiet and everyone is so silent. It's disturbing.”

 

“Only for you,” stated Ward as he tried to sit up. The cuff caught his wrist though, pulling him back down again. He blinked hard, like his mind was struggling to process what had just happened. Skye was quick to shift so she was sitting on the bed rather than beside it, laying a hand against his shoulder to keep him down. “Hey, let's just stay down for a bit, okay? They kinda had to drug you.”

 

“What?” asked Ward, blinking up at her in confusion. His free hand rose to rub his eyes, like he was trying to clear his vision. “They drugged me?”

 

“Yeah,” confirmed Skye softly, concerned. One of her hands rose to brush against his hair and cheek. It was the first chance she'd had to touch him since she started visiting the prison. “Do you remember what happened?”

 

“I-” Ward paused, eyes closing again as his words tapered off. “I was in my cell.”

 

“Yeah,” confirmed Skye, fingers lacing with his gently. Calgrove had warned her the drugs might impact his memory a little. He didn't seem to think it would be permanent though. “You remember what you were doing?”

 

“Thinking,” replied Ward quietly, eyes opening again to focus on the ceiling. “I was thinking about Garrett and I was holding your GED book.” He took a deep breath, hand tightening around hers a little bit more. “I was so mad....”

 

Skye waited patiently for him to say something else- anything. She'd settle for anything else. But he didn't say a word or offer a further explanation. Not that he really needed to, Skye could put it together. The thing was, it didn't do Ward any good if she implied what had happened and didn't force him to discuss it. Or at least admit what happened. She needed to try and prompt him to speak, at least a little. “Why?”

 

“I don't know,” stated Ward. There was an odd quality to his voice though- a touch of surprise mixed with despair and self-doubt.

 

“You can't remember why you were mad?” asked Skye gently, her free hand reaching out to carefully touch his hair. She couldn't be sure how he'd react when she touched him; all she could hope was that he didn't react violently.

 

Ward flinched slightly as her fingers touched his hair, but his face turned towards her hand before she could pull back. It was a conflicted response if she ever saw one. Still, she didn't move her hand, just left it against his hair.

 

“I was mad because...” Again, Ward's words trailed off, his eyes closing. Skye wasn't sure if it was the drugs or something else, but she remained silent (barely) all the same. Calgrove said he'd be groggy; prompting him wouldn't help that.

 

Silence filled the room for several minutes; it took Ward so long to answer, Skye thought he'd fallen asleep again. “I was mad because John- because Garrett lied to me. He used me, lied to me.” Anger tinged his words; anger and pain.

 

Without thinking about it, Skye began to brush her fingers against Ward's hair. It seemed to help settle him a little bit. He turned further into her hand, a noise Skye hadn't heard before escaping his throat. It almost sounded like a whimper. “He's not here anymore, Ward. He can't do anything to you.”

 

“He lied to me,” repeated Ward, his voice more distressed than angry. Slowly, his eyes opened again, head turning to meet Skye's gaze. Any thoughts she had that he might not still be drugged up went out the window as she stared into his eyes. Raw pain, sadness, and confusion stared back. It was like looking into the eyes of a puppy who'd been kicked and didn't understand why. “He said he'd make sure no one messed with me ever again, but that wasn't true. He messed with me. No matter how good I got, he always told me what to do. He controlled me.”

 

“Ward,” murmured Skye softly, the fingers still interwoven with his tightening slightly. “Garrett is gone. He can't do anything to you anymore.”

 

“But I don't want him to be gone,” whispered Ward, blinking at her sadly. “He gave me purpose. Gave me a direction. I need that, Skye. I don't know what to do. He went crazy and abandoned me like everyone does and now I don't know what to do.”

 

Horror slithered down Skye's spine, but she was careful to keep it off her face. Ward missed Garrett; it just spoke volumes about how badly Garrett had worked Ward over. Even if Ward wasn't fully in his right mind right now, it was disturbing to hear.

 

“He was like a dad, Skye,” continued Ward, staring up at her with those lost eyes. “He was the closest thing to a dad I ever had, and he went crazy on me.”

 

“You'll be alright, Ward,” assured Skye gently, trying to offer him something else to work with. Anything was better than what he was going to now. Nothing she'd seen revealed just how bad the abuse must have been. “You're more than capable of finding your own way now.”

 

“But I don't know where to start,” muttered Ward, eyes finally leaving her to stare back up at the ceiling. “I don't know where to start. I just don't know.”

 

“It'll be okay,” repeated Skye softly, running her fingers though his hair gently. “You'll be okay, Ward.”

 

Somehow, she'd make sure he was. She'd seen plenty of kids from abusive homes when she'd been a kid and at the time she'd believed every single one of them deserved to get better. That hadn't changed. She'd seen first hand how damaging abuse could be and the kind Ward had suffered through bordered on Stockholm Syndrome. He'd done things that still made her stomach churn. He'd almost killed Fitz and Simmons, he had killed who knew how many others. But there were other circumstances too, and those changed things. It was one thing to kill someone because you wanted to; it was another to kill someone because your abuser ordered you to or drilled it into your head that you needed to. He'd been with Garrett at the Fridge, he'd been with Garrett on the plane when he'd dumped Fitz and Simmons. And at least in the case of Fitz and Simmons, Garrett had ordered Ward to kill them. And if her Stockholm theory was in any way correct, the fact that Fitz and Simmons weren't dead from bullets to the head (a sure-fire death versus being dropped out of the plane in a pod) was a damn miracle.

 

“It'll be okay, Ward,” stated Skye softly again, watching as he closed his eyes once more.

 

It felt like she needed to say more, but the sound of the door opening behind her said her time was up. Calgrove had made it pretty clear he could only let her in the room until the standard visiting hours were up. As things stood, it was thirty minutes past since standard visiting hours ended, but Skye suspected that was because Calgrove wanted her there when Ward woke up. Clearly, the man thought she had some power she didn't.

 

Glancing back, she noticed Calgrove standing in the doorway. There weren't any guards with him, but she couldn't imagine they were far behind. And when the guards showed up, she would definitely have to leave.

 

Turning back to Ward, Skye flipped her GED book to the end and fished the small photograph Calgrove had dug out of Wards cell from between the pages. She couldn't leave the book behind this time (there was no way Calgrove would let her), but the photo was Ward's as far as she was concerned. And who knew, maybe it helped him somehow to have that photo; she couldn't think of any other reason why he'd keep it after what went down.

 

Releasing his hand, she brushed his cheek with her now-free fingers to catch his attention. Those soft brown orbs slipped open to meet her own almost immediately, concern replacing the fear and confusion of before. She could tell he knew just from a glance she had to leave and his eyes begged her not to. Part of her wanted to stay and watch over him, but she knew it wasn't possible. The prison wouldn't let her and she had to play by their rules if she wanted to keep coming back.

 

So she held out the photo to him, waving the paper it was printed on just a bit to make sure he saw it. Almost immediately, his eyes locked on the slip of paper. His fingers were tugging it out of her grasp a second later, focus on the picture and not Skye for half a second. Then his eyes turned back onto her and confusion again flashed over his features. Still, he didn't ask why either. “Thank you.”

 

Offering him a tight smile, Skye carefully stood up, taking his hand when it reflexively reached for her. “Ward, I have to go now. The prison won't let me stay. But I'll be back soon to visit and Calgrove has my number; if you need me, you can ask Calgrove and he'll let you call me. Okay?”

 

Ward's eyes fell back to the picture, his grip remaining tight around her hand. “Are you going to leave me, too?”

 

That was the drugs talking and Skye knew it. The Grant Ward she knew didn't need anyone and the next time she visited, he'd probably be back to acting like her presence was a disturbance. But right in this moment, he was more of a scared, lost child than a strong man and all he needed to hear was that someone was going to come back to him.

 

“No, I'll be back like I said,” assured Skye softly. Her fingers curled against his, squeezing once before letting go. “I promise, I'll be back as soon as I can be. Okay?”

 

Ward nods rather than offering a verbal answer, which Skye thinks is probably good given the guards step into the room not a second later and Calgrove has been watching them since he came into the room. Turning away from Ward, Skye approaches the guards who pretty much push her out of the room and towards the exit. She doesn't argue though, because she wants to keep her promise to Ward. And getting thrown out of the prison definitely won't help.


	4. Chapter 4

_Chapter 4_

 

“Skye, do you have a minute?” 

 

Skye jumped a little at Fitz's voice, her book hitting the ground and pulling her bag over with it. Several notebooks spilled out as it tumbled and Skye had to resist cursing. Fitz was significantly more sensitive since he lost use of his legs and Skye didn't want him to think she blamed him for her things going everywhere. It wasn't his fault his chair was significantly quieter than footsteps.

 

“Yeah Fitz, what's up?” asked Skye, carefully keeping her tone under control. It was incredibly hard, but she could do it. If she could keep her control with Ward, she could do it with Fitz.

 

“I just wanted to ask if you could run some searches,” replied Fitz, appearing at the edge of Skye's vision. His wheel chair made him pretty hard to miss nowadays. “They shouldn't take long.”

 

“Leave the list next to my computer and I'll do it when I get back, unless it's an emergency,” replied Skye, shoving her belongings back into her bag. “I'm kinda on a time crunch here.”

 

“I thought your test wasn't for months,” remarked Fitz, tilting his head a little. “An' you can always come study in the lab. Simmons and I can be quiet.”

 

“That's sweet Fitz, but I've got a place to work,” insisted Skye, shouldering her bag. Part of her wanted to tell Fitz the truth, especially when he turned sad eyes up onto her. But she couldn't, not yet. Not until Ward was at least out of the observation wing. She was actually heading over there more because Calgrove had asked her to than because she thought she'd get any studying done. He was convinced she was somehow conducive to the healing process for Ward (his words, not hers). “Like I said, leave the list on my desk and I'll run it when I get back.”

 

“Where are you going, anyway?” asked Fitz curiously as he dropped a folder on her desk. “It's not the library, I checked that yesterday.”

 

“What?” asked Skye, glancing back at Fitz. She tried to keep her voice level, she really did. Why would Fitz be looking into where she was going anyway? It wasn't his business where she studied. The sensation of being watched she hadn't experienced since living on the Bus came back full force, making her skin itch. “Why does it matter? I'm gonna go study.”

 

“Because you're acting odd,” replied Fitz simply, shrugging a bit. “You've been acting odd for a month.”

 

Pausing, Skye contemplated Fitz's words. She had been disappearing for a month, but that shouldn't bother the engineer. It didn't seem to have anyone else up in arms. But Fitz was also Fitz and since the whole incident with the pod and the coma, he'd been more observant of the others. And a bit more paranoid. She suspected it had to do with a fear of being betrayed again. “I promise Fitz, everything is alright.”

 

“Then why won't you say where you're going?” pressed Fitz in concern. The furrow that formed between his brows was deeper than anything she'd seen on his face in months.

 

Sighing, Skye threw her bag on her shoulder and turned back to the engineer. “Because it's private for right now Fitz, and I'm worried it won't be if I start telling people where I'm going.”

 

“No one will follow you, Skye,” assured Fitz, the furrow becoming deeper than Skye had ever seen it. “Why would we?”

 

“Because Coulson is paranoid?” suggested Skye with a raised eyebrow, crossing her arms. She wasn't going to mention the fact that Fitz looking into where she was going basically was following her- that wouldn't go over well at all. “Look Fitz, I'm sorry, but I've gotta go. I'll check out that file when I get back, okay?”

 

Fitz was silent for a moment before nodding slowly and wheeling towards the door to the server room. “Fine. Thank you, Skye.”

 

“No problem Fitz,” assured Skye, holding in her sigh of relief as she headed for the room's exit. She needed to get out of there before she said or did something that gave her away. Besides, there was only so much time before visiting hours ended at the prison and, from what Calgrove had said, she needed to get over there. For Ward.

 

\----------------------------------------

 

As soon as the guards led Skye into the medical wing of the prison, she saw precisely why Calgrove had wanted her down there so quickly.

 

Ward was restrained to his bed, glaring at anyone who came near him and tugging at the bindings. He wasn't lashing out, which was good, but clearly he was pissed off. She almost wondered if the restraints were a precaution after what they'd seen him do on the security tapes. Probably, if she had to guess.

 

“Ward?” asked Skye, approaching like he wasn't the least bit scary and dropping her bag beside his bed.

 

Truthfully? He was terrifying. The raw anger in his eyes and face was enough to scare even her. But she knew that acting afraid of him would give him power and part of her, a deep, deep part of her, wanted to believe he wouldn't hurt her no matter how angry he was. He hadn't hurt her even when she'd hit him, called him a Hydra bastard and tried to fight him. All it would have taken was one hit. He knew where to strike to immobilize someone; it wouldn't have taken much. But he hadn't. He'd restrained her with what even she could recognize was care and tried to talk her down.

 

Now, she just hoped he'd keep the same attitude. “What happened?”

 

He glared at her angrily, like she was somehow responsible for his current state of being, but didn't say a word. Silently, she watched and waited as he tugged at his restraints uselessly, scowl deepening with each motion. A doctor and a nurse were standing at the back of the room, watching them wearily as they went around doing whatever they were doing. Maybe prepping for another patient or something, it was hard to tell. They didn't look happy that Skye was just casually sitting beside Ward though. Well, as far as she was concerned, they could suck it.

 

“Why am I restrained?” asked Ward at last, dropping back against the bed in what almost looked like resignation. His anger was transforming rapidly to frustration, which was a far more normal look for her ex-SO.

 

“You trashed your cell,” replied Skye, brow furrowing. Calgrove must have told him as much. It wouldn't make sense that the head-doctor wouldn't explain to Ward why he was restrained. “Didn't Calgrove explain it?”

 

“The shrink?” countered Ward with a scowl, the anger flashing up again. “He tried to ask me 'how I was feeling', then got ticked when I said my head was pounding.”

 

Skye snorted a little, trying to stuff down the chuckle that was threatening to escape. It explained Calgrove's miffed attitude earlier. “He wanted to know how you were feeling _emotionally._ You kinda had a breakdown day before yesterday.”

 

The look of utter surprise on Ward's face said exactly how crazy he thought she was. “I did what?”

 

“Had a breakdown of the emotional and possibly mental variety,” replied Skye, her shoulders relaxing. Ward wasn't yelling or getting pissed at her; that had to be a good sign. It didn't mean he'd stay that way of course, but she could hope. She wanted to reach out and take one of his hands, wanted to touch him and offer some support before she started to ask questions, but she knew it wouldn't be appreciated either. Not by Ward or the guards. “What's the last thing you really remember?”

 

Silently, Ward closed his eyes, tilting his head back in what she could only guess was thought. His brows tightened a little as he sat there, face twisting into an almost pained look. A moment later though, he let out a sigh and lifted his head, eyes focusing on Skye. “I remember sitting in my cell, looking at that book you left behind.”

 

“The GED study book?” asked Skye, even though she knew the answer. This was going to be a recap of what he said yesterday and she knew it, but it needed to be said. He'd still been high yesterday; for him to actually acknowledge what he'd said, he needed to say it again while not drugged up.

 

Ward nodded in return, raising his head and giving Skye a look that clearly displayed his disbelief that she couldn't remember what book she'd left him. “Yeah, that one.” Shaking his head a bit, he let it drop back so his eyes could focus on the ceiling, brow tightening again in thought. “I was looking at the book and just started to get angry.”

 

“Didn't realize a book could offend,” joked Skye, trying to keep the mood light. She could practically feel that anger rising again and an image of him sitting shirtless in Simmons' lab while he was still raging from the Beserker staff's effects kept popping into her head. That wasn't something they needed to see again. The doctors would probably have heart attacks.

 

“It wasn't the book Skye,” groaned Ward, though she could see some of the anger seep away. “It was what it represented. Everything. The lies, the things I'd done and my reasons for doing them started to build up. I just kept getting angrier and angrier until I just wanted to destroy everything in my cell.”

 

Skye nodded quietly, sobering as she considered his words. In all honesty, she knew Garrett wasn't the only thing wrong in Ward's life. She'd seen the files and they looked too clean to belong to anyone. It was pretty obvious someone had cleansed Ward's file and it hadn't been her. That meant Garrett had probably hired someone before Ward joined SHIELD, just to make sure he didn't send up any red flags. Truthfully, this couldn't just be as simple as 'Garrett made me do it'. There was more to this whole thing, or else Garrett had been one seriously talented SOB. Which was admittedly possible, even if it wasn't probable. But untangling that mess was something that would take time. For now, she'd be happy if they could get him to talk a little, if only to give them something to go on.

 

“I might add, you did a fantastic job at the whole destroying thing,” added Skye, trying to keep the mood as light as possible given everything they were discussing. “I saw the damage first hand. It's remarkable.”

 

The look Ward sent her said her words weren't appreciated, but the slight tick at the corner of his mouth didn't escape her notice either. It wasn't a smile, but it was a start. Just seeing him in a mode that wasn't 'angry', 'robot', or 'sarcastic' was a step in the right direction.

 

“Seriously, your cot? Trashed,” continued Skye, shaking her head a little. “You're a lot stronger than I thought, Robot. I've never seen someone destroy a freaking mattress with their bare hands like that. I've gotta say, I have a whole new respect for you.”

 

Any chance Skye thought she'd had at getting a laugh out of Ward vanished with that remark. His face fell again, turning blank in a second. Whatever she'd said that triggered him, it was bad.

 

“Ward?” prompted Skye quietly, her hand reaching out to lay against his arm. He flinched and tried to pull away immediately, though the cuff on his wrist stopped him short. Skye moved her hand instead, wanting him to realize he had the choice not to be in contact with her even if he couldn't physically move away. “What'd I say?”

 

“Nothing,” muttered Ward, his eyes remaining locked on the ceiling as he began shutting down. “You didn't say anything that wasn't true.”

 

Yeah, she'd stepped in it. Something she'd said had obviously bothered Ward. What it was might not be possible to find out, either. Still, she should at least try. The only serious part of that statement had been the remark about respecting his strength, but she'd respected him for that before.

 

“Okay, let's pretend everything I just said was true for a moment,” stated Skye, leaning forward so she could rest on her elbows. “Which, by the way, it wasn't. I want to make it clear that I don't think you're a robot. Your cot was pretty badly trashed, but those things don't exactly look sturdy to being with so,” she shrugged a bit, leveling her gaze on him. “Now, what don't you want to be true?”

 

“It's all true,” repeated Ward, again shrugging a bit in what seemed like resignation. His eyes remained locked on the ceiling though, avoiding Skye's gaze. Then, almost reluctantly and a lot quieter, he added: “I'm a robot, I do what I'm told. It's what I'm supposed to do.”

 

“That's not true, Ward,” insisted Skye softly, forgetting her goal for a moment as she reached out and took his hand. He flinched slightly but didn't attempt to move his hand. If it was because he felt it would make him look weak or for some other reason, she wasn't sure. Either way, she left her hand there, waiting for some sign from Ward about what she should do. “You're a person Ward, what you do should be up to you.”

 

“No,” growled Ward, finally raising his head to look at her again. “The only time I've managed to avoid getting into trouble was when someone else makes my decisions for me. Whenever I try to make my own decisions, I end up in jail.” He let his eyes fall to the side then, locking onto the cuff at his wrist. “When I decided to try to burn my parent's house down because I was angry they wouldn't listen to me, I nearly killed my brother and got sent to Juvie. I decide to let Garrett break me out and I get left in the woods with nothing but a dog to fend for myself. And when I pushed Garrett for orders because I was too afraid to make up my own mind, he sent me after you because he knew it's what I'd choose to do and that landed me here.”

 

“Ward, sending you after me was Garrett's call, not yours,” corrected Skye, her thumb slowly rubbing against his knuckles in a way that was hopefully somewhat soothing. She didn't want him mad again, if only because she was afraid someone would hurt him and it would be her fault for bringing this up. “He made a bad call, just like you did once or twice. Everyone does. Hell, I betrayed you all by sending data to Miles and I got Scorch killed. I was almost responsible for blowing up Grand Central Station, too. I'd call those pretty bad calls.” 

 

Releasing his hand gently, she lightly touched his chin, turning his face towards hers. His head moved at her direction, though his eyes were completely blank when they met hers. “But it was also my decision to join SHIELD, my decision to run away from the orphanage, and my decision to try to find out where I came from. My decision to keep coming back to visit you.” Releasing him again, she leaned back a little, folding her hands in her lap to keep them from fidgeting. “I don't know what's going to happen if I find my parents or what'll happen with SHIELD, but I'm never gonna regret having made the decision to try. If you don't try, if you don't make the decision to see what will happen, then nothing ever will.”

 

Ward's eyes fell again, his gaze falling to her hands. His own fingers drummed a little against his sheets for half a second before he stilled them again, curling them into loose fists. “Is that why you're trying to get your GED?”

 

“It's something I didn't do because, at the time, I was too angry to do it,” stated Skye simply, shrugging a little and leaning forward. Her fingers laced together in front of her, her eyes remaining locked on him as she tried to explain her change of heart. “I don't need the paper to prove to anyone I'm smart, but I've come to realize that I want that one normal thing in my life. It's something I'm doing for myself, to give myself something normal that everyone else has.”

 

“But why?” pressed Ward, his eyes finally meeting hers again. They swirled in confusion and uncertainty. He was questioning her decisions, but she could see that it wasn't because he thought she was wrong; he didn't understand why she was doing it, simple as that.

 

“Because I want to,” repeated Skye softly, offering him a small shrug. “I don't need a reason. I want one, so I'm going to try to get one. It'll be a lot of work, but if I walk away with my GED and the knowledge that I've successfully earned that, then I win.”

 

“But you work for SHIELD,” countered Ward, his brow furrowing sharply. “You don't need your GED for anything.”

 

“Nope, I don't,” confirmed Skye, again shrugging. “But I want one for myself. This isn't about anyone else, it's solely about what I want.”

 

Ward fell silent at that point, leaning his head back again so he could stare up at the ceiling silently. Whatever was going through his head, it seemed to have his full attention. And there were really too many options for Skye to hazard a guess as to what he was thinking. Reaching down, she picked up one of her GED books and flipped it open. She really did want to pass her GED test so that did actually mean she needed to study if Ward wasn't going to talk. Besides, she suspected it made him a little more comfortable when she did something besides talk.

 

Nearly an hour passed in silence. Ward was still staring up at the ceiling when the guards came in to escort Skye out, to her dismay. Not that he usually said goodbye when she left, but something about his silence felt off this time. She was almost a little worried he would lash out, but when she stood, it was apparent he'd fallen asleep. Huh.

 

Reaching into her bag, she pulled out a book she'd brought along for him to read. It wasn't the same kind of thing Garrett had given him, but she thought that might be better ultimately. Their discussions weren't exactly non-invasive and she knew his time with Calgrove wasn't any better. Plus he'd basically destroyed all his books, so he needed something to read. She'd already discussed it with Calgrove and, well he wasn't thrilled she wanted to give Ward more books, he was willing to go along with it. The books before had kept Ward occupied, provided a reflection of what he knew. Hopefully this book would help keep him from sliding back into that mental state.


	5. Chapter 5

-Chapter 5-

 

When Skye returned a few days later, she was again stopped at the front of the prison and forced to wait until a second guard came to retrieve her. This time, however, the guards seemed less tense than before. There was no sense of urgency or trouble clinging to the man who lead her to Calgrove's office. They left her there, waiting as she listened to the shrink talk to someone on the other side of the door.

 

His voice stopped droning on a minute later with a calm goodbye, prompting Skye to knock on his door. A shout of 'it's open!' followed, so Skye just pushed the door open and walked inside. Calgrove looked up as soon as she opened the door, raising an eyebrow at her.

 

Skye returned the eyebrow, stepping over to the chairs in front of his desk and dropping her bag into one so she could cross her arms in an attempt to emulate May's 'care to explain' stance that could make Coulson sing like a canary. “What's up Doc?”

 

“Harry Potter?” returned Calgrove, raising both eyebrows in return. “Really?”

 

“Has he been reading it?” countered Skye, giving him a look that said she knew he had been. The look Calgrove gave her said her idea had worked, too.

 

“When you said you wanted to give him something to read, I expected the classics,” explained Calgrove with a sigh, motioning for her to sit. “Something in line with what he'd been reading before, not modern magic fantasy.”

 

“The problem with what he was reading before is it was stuff his SO had given him to read,” replied Skye, dropping into the motioned to seat without further prompting. “How's he doing?”

 

“I want to say better, but it's hard to tell,” admitted Calgrove with a shrug. “Besides you, he really doesn't talk to anyone. He's started grunting in response to my questions instead of staring at me in absolute silence the entire time, so I suppose that's an improvement.”

 

Nodding slowly, Skye tapped her fingers a bit against the arm of the chair before she leaned forward a little. “Is he still in observation?”

 

“He's not showing signs of aggression so we moved him back into isolation,” replied Calgrove, making a bit of a face. “So far I've seen him alternate between working out and reading. That's about all he seems to do unless he's asleep, but that never lasts long, either.”

 

“Sounds like Ward,” agreed Skye with a shrug. “That's all I ever saw him do when we lived together.”

 

“It seems to be a heavily ingrained routine from what I can tell,” confirmed Calgrove, his lips pressing together a little. “I would actually like to disrupt the routine a bit, see if that will help him open up. I reviewed the footage from the months he was here prior to your visits beginning and he was maintaining the same routine up until you started appearing. I believe your appearance and the coinciding disruption to his routine may have contributed to his recent shift in attitude. I'm uncertain if it's your presence, the disruption, or some combination of both, but I'm going to attempt to encourage it all the same. He certainly didn't appear to engage this way when Agent Coulson visited, which leads me to believe it might be your presence that is a larger factor than the disruption.”

 

“Wait, Coulson was here? Visiting Ward?” asked Skye, brow furrowing. When had that happened? She didn't remember Coulson ever mentioning any intention to visit her ex-SO. “When?”

 

“About two months ago,” replied Calgrove, his brow furrowing a bit. “Didn't he discuss that with you?”

 

“No, he failed to mention that part,” stated Skye, her tone turning dry and irritated. Why the hell hadn't Coulson told them about his visit? “Did he say why he wanted to see him?”

 

“I got the marked impression that Agent Coulson wanted to get a better grasp of Mr. Ward's psychological state,” explained Calgrove as he turned to his computer and began keying something in. “He was actually the one who requested I do a psychological evaluation of Mr. Ward. Unfortunately, Mr. Ward has been uncooperative up until you began visiting. A history of abuse was suspected before then, but Mr. Ward was unwilling to confirm it.”

 

“I can confirm it,” assured Skye, rubbing her eyes a little as she tried to think of some reason why Coulson would care about Ward's psychological state. No reason that made sense came to mind though; if she wanted to know, she'd need to ask and she couldn't ask without alerting Coulson to the fact she was visiting Ward in prison. “Can I see him now?”

 

“If you'd like,” confirmed Calgrove, hitting a button on his computer and turning to his printer as it began to spit pages. “I'd like to make a request of you, though.”

 

“Okay,” agreed Skye, unsure she liked where this was going. She wasn't going to be a mole for Ward's shrink just so the man could get some ammo he could use to evaluate Ward. “What's up?”  


“I would like you to fill this out when you get a chance,” explained Calgrove, passing five loose pages to her from his printer. The pages consisted of multiple outlined rows split into two columns. “In the left column, I want you to list every book you would recommend giving Mr. Ward to help facilitate improving his mental state. In the right, I'd like the names of the authors. We aren't supposed to allow visitors to bring things in for the prisoners, but if you give me the titles of the books, I can order new copies you are free to give him.”

 

“Why don't you just give them to him?” asked Skye, even as she tucked the papers into her bag. She'd figure out what to give him next based on how Ward responded to Harry Potter. Her knowledge of books wasn't great, but that's what the internet was for. Besides, she'd seen the movies and they were pretty good. Hopefully Ward wouldn't disagree too severely- she sure as hell wasn't giving him any more war books.

 

“I doubt he would read the books if I gave them to him,” stated Calgrove simply, standing from his desk and heading for the door. “Now, I have a session shortly. The guard waiting outside will escort you to Mr. Ward's cell.”

 

“Thanks,” thanked Skye, picking up her bag and following him to the door. “I'll e-mail you the sheets later.”

 

“You can bring them the next time you come if you'd like,” assured Calgrove, opening the door for her. Sure enough, there was a guard waiting outside. “There isn't a rush.”

 

“Good to know,” stated Skye before she stepped into the hall and nodded at the guard. Calgrove shut his office door without another word, leaving Skye to follow the guard out into the prison.

 

\----------------------------------------

 

Ward was sitting on his cot when they arrived, head bowed and eyes locked on his hands. His thumbs were pressed together in a way that almost emulated a nervous twitch, attention clearly far away from the prison and its inhabitants. He didn't even look up when she set her bag beside his cell door, something that usually caught his attention.

 

“Ward?” called Skye, drawing his eyes up to her from whatever distant spot he'd seemed so focused on. “You home?”

 

Instead of responding however, Ward picked up something resting beside his leg, laying the rectangular object in his lap. It took Skye half a second to realize it was the Harry Potter book she'd left him with. The spine was a lot more worn than she'd expected it to be given Ward had never seemed particularly interested in fiction before.

 

Leaning carefully on the bars of the cell, Skye tried not to fidget as she watched this really, really weird behavior. Ward was never this distant when she was around. It was beyond unnerving and made her wonder if he was about to throw a fit or something. His body was tense like he might move suddenly, but there was a marked lack of an edge to it that she'd noticed tended to cling to him right before he struck. This was an exhausted tension, like he wasn't sure what to do with himself.

 

“They're talking about moving me permanently into the psyche division of the prison,” remarked Ward, his voice quieter than Skye ever recalled hearing it. “That shrink thinks it'll be better for me.”

 

“They're probably worried you'll crack again,” remarked Skye quietly as her eyes scanned the cell. The mattress had clearly been replaced and the cell had been cleaned, but unlike before where it had at least felt inhabited. Now it looked desolate, barren and cold, as if Ward hadn't been locked in their for months before his break. “You did to a number on your cell.”

 

Ward snorted a little, tossing the book lightly to the side and pushing his hair back with a hand. “The man also wants me to start talking.”

 

“Because something is clearly wrong,” pointed out Skye with a sigh. “Even I can tell that and I'm not a head-doctor.”

 

“Shrinks couldn't help me when I was a kid,” growled Ward, his fists tightening slightly. “They can't help me now.”

 

Skye couldn't really argue with that- she wasn't exactly a big believer in psychology either. Shrinks were pretty normal, even in orphanages. They were just usually state employed, over-worked, and rarely actually gave a rats ass by the time they reached kids like her. “They couldn't help me, either.”

 

Sighing, Skye sat at the edge of the bars, looking up at Ward. “Look Ward, I don't like head-doctors any more than you. Trust me on that. I've never found a shrink I liked or trusted enough to talk with. But you've got some serious issues, too- worse than anything I've faced. I hate to say it, but Calgrove might actually be able to help you cope with what you're facing.”

 

“How could he know?” growled Ward, finally abandoning his cot to stalk over to the bars so he was towering over Skye. The narrowed, pinched look to his eyes and irritated press of his lips into that thin line she was oh-so-familiar with spoke volumes as to his unwillingness to cooperate in this particular situation. “How would he possibly understand anything about my past? You have some capacity to understand at least- you at minimum witnessed the kind of crap I lived through. You get it Skye, and he doesn't.”

 

Well, she wouldn't argue that one. She was pretty damn sure Calgrove had never faced a situation anywhere near the picture she'd gotten of Ward's past. An incomplete picture, she might add. It would do Ward good to talk with Calgrove, if only because it would give the man some idea of what Ward had faced and allow him to adjust whatever therapy he was planning with Ward accordingly. Still, if Ward didn't want to talk than she wouldn't push it. Talking needed to be his choice, like everything else. And clearly not talking with Calgrove was his choice- after all, he was talking with her.

 

“I agree, he won't be able to relate,” confirmed Skye, watching as Ward began to pace a little like a caged animal. “But, it might help him figure out how to help you.” When Ward paused to scowl at her, Skye tried to find a better way to explain. “Look, it's not all about asking you how you feel. Garrett did some damage Ward, no matter what you might want to believe. I'm sure your family started it, but he made it worse. If we can figure out what he did to you, then we can help you adjust so you can function on your own.”

 

“I'm _functioning_ just fine,” growled Ward, his fists flexing at his side. It wasn't a threat, more like a subconscious action- one she recognized as a means of controlling himself. Despite what Ward and the others might have thought about her brash approach, the only reason she'd survived was by learning body language. Everything had a different meaning to everyone, and she was pretty good at learning each person's tells fast. This had been one of Ward's she'd picked up during the incident with the staff. “I'm standing here, breathing, talking, and clearly _functioning_.”

 

Skye felt her chest tighten. He seriously thought he was okay like this- that this was functioning? That the anger and frustration that were apparent in every step and word were normal? “Ward, functioning isn't just about talking and breathing. It's about making your own decisions, living your life by your rules and the way you want to.”

 

The cold, hopeless laugh that escaped Ward send a chill down Skye's back. The look he gave her, the way his eyes darkened and his lips twisted into a resigned smirk, spoke volumes. Grandly, he flung his arms outwards, hands just barely avoiding the walls of his cell. “Yes Skye, because  _this_ is living. Because in here  _I get a choice in how to live my life._ ” Dropping his hands, he shook his head and little and flopped back onto his cot. “My life has always involved living inside someone else's box, Skye. Your life is the same way- you live it by other people's rules and restrictions.  _ Functioning _ ,  _ living _ , it's about surviving inside whatever prison you're currently being held in. The idea that we make our own choices is bull. There's always someone else pulling the strings.”

 

She wanted to object. She so badly wanted to lash out, counter his words with her own. Yeah, she worked for SHIELD now, but it's because she chose to and she could walk away if she wanted to. There was a difference between choosing to follow another person's rules and being forced to- and it was a difference Ward had no experience with, apparently. And one he probably wouldn't accept. He had a remarkably closed-minded outlook when it came to alternative perspectives on the world. But then again, his life probably hadn't promoted out-of-the-box thinking either. Well, outside of the tactical applications anyway.

 

Taking a deep breath, Skye forced her deep-rooted need to argue away as best she could, turning her focus to the book still resting on Ward's bed. “So, what'd you think of the book?”

 

Ward seemed momentarily startled by the change in topic, his eyes falling to the book in question. His fingers brushed the cover momentarily before he shrugged and looked back to Skye. “It was pretty boring.”

 

That he answered her question said a lot about how much he really didn't want to continue their discussion. She knew he wouldn't hesitate to push the issue if he actually wanted to talk about it. If it was too frank a conversation for him or if he was trying to forcefully keep his denial in check, she wasn't sure. But clearly he didn't want to discuss it.

 

“Seriously?” asked Skye in clear disbelief, mentally making a note of Ward's comment for later use. Maybe she could find something to open up his opinions later. “You found it boring?”

 

“Yeah,” confirmed Ward with a shrug. There was something behind his disinterested voice though, something that hinted he wasn't saying something. “It passed the time, but it's no Matterhorn.”

 

“Ward, it's popular fiction,” stated Skye, rolling her eyes. “It's not an actual account of a magical school or anything.”

 

“Obviously,” scoffed Ward, tapping the book slightly. “I really doubt there's a magical school hidden somewhere in Scotland. Besides, if there was, I'm pretty sure the British government would be working to use magic to their advantage. The wizards weren't exactly subtle.”

 

“Can't you turn off the secret agent part of your brain for a minute and just pretend it's real?” asked Skye with a smirk, though she knew the answer was no. Still, teasing him a little might do him some good. Maybe get him to relax a bit; it was something he really needed to do. “The whole point of fiction is to allow yourself to be immersed in the world and forget about reality for a while, not criticize it because it isn't realistic.”

 

“I know Skye,” stated Ward with a roll of his eyes. “But this was just...unbelievable. A mistreated kid suddenly finding out he gets to escape his abusive family to go live at a magic school? Doesn't happen. And that kid who picks on him, Malfoy, he's just a racist asshole.”

 

“Yeah, Malfoy is an asshat,” agreed Skye with a shrug. “He's also the low-ranking bad guy.”

 

“He's a symbolic foil,” corrected Ward, weaving his fingers together in front of him and pressing his thumbs together. 

 

“A symbolic what?” asked Skye, her brow rising in confusion. The hell was a symbolic foil? “What does the stuff you cover left over food with have to do with Malfoy?”

 

Ward gave her a 'are you serious' look before he stood and stepped up to the bars. “Check your GED book, the literature section. There's a article on literary character types. A symbolic foil would be a character who represents a social or political view who's presence and interaction with the main characters tell us more about the main characters' views and personalities.”

 

“You actually read my GED book?” asked Skye in shock, eyes going slightly wide. After the way he'd reacted when she brought up taking the GED, she wouldn't have thought he would even glance at the study book. Apparently, he'd gone a step further though and actually read part of the book.

 

“You left it here,” pointed out Ward with a careless shrug. “I figured I'd look it over to see if it at least seemed legitimate or if I needed to advise you to get a new one.”

 

“Uhuh,” hummed Skye in clear disbelief. “And what was your conclusion on that one?” 

 

“You need a better math book,” stated Ward with a shrug. “It provides some good over-view, but lacks more specific examples.”

 

“Math isn't really a concern,” remarked Skye as she shifted around, stretching her legs out in front of her as Ward blink at her in surprise. “Computers, remember? Math is the one thing I was kinda good at in school. It's all logic, rules, and solving puzzles. Not exactly hard stuff.”

 

“The Rising Tide hacker likes rules?” asked Ward, though there was a tone that bordered on teasing in his voice. “Really? The anarchist likes the one subject that's almost all rules?”

 

“Rules make it easy,” countered Skye, rolling her eyes a bit. “Let me guess, your subject was always gym.”

 

Ward fell quiet again for a moment, bluntly reminding Skye that he hadn't attended all of high school either, and that it wasn't his choice to quit. Well, talk about putting her foot in her mouth. He probably loved to be reminded of a time when he had almost no control in his life.

 

“History, actually,” corrected Ward quietly, his eyes falling to the floor. He almost seemed embarrassed by that, which made absolutely no sense to Skye. History wasn't a bad subject to be good in.

 

“History, huh?” asked Skye quietly, debating if she wanted to take the shaky opening the conversation was giving her. If she was going to ask about his past and get a sense of what his life had been before Garrett, this might be her best bet. “What part of history did you like?” 

 

“Any,” replied Ward with a shrug, returning to his cot and laying down. The laying down thing was starting to feel more like a defensive pose than anything- something that let him avoid looking at Skye while they talked. “I wanted to know how people managed to survive whatever life threw at them.”

 

“Alcohol and perseverance?” offered Skye with a shrug, eyes falling to the ground. It was a personal answer that further reinforced her theory that Ward was probably mistreated at least by his brother. He'd been looking for something to give him hope that things would get better.

 

Ward actually chuckled slightly at her remark, though it was dry and humorless. “Yeah, that's one way to do it.” His response almost made Skye wince; there was a sense of knowing in those words that said he'd tried that very option.

 

Falling silent at that point, Skye tried to think of something else to say. The history angle was a good thing to know; it would give her something to work with in terms of bringing Ward books. There had to be a way to use that information to get him talking though. Or at minimum give them a safe topic. Too bad Skye didn't know anything about history. It really sucked because she knew there was a whole history section on the GED.

 

Wait, the GED. That was it.

 

“How good at history were you?” asked Skye hopefully, leaning slightly on the bars. “Like mediocre or really good?”  


“Memorizing stuff is easy for me,” replied Ward as if that answered her question somehow. His brows furrowed slightly as he finally looked back at her, suspicion in his eyes. “Why?”

 

“Because I kinda need help studying,” explained Skye without pause, giving him a hopeful look. “And I kinda flunked history in school. Repeatedly.”

 

Ward's brow furrowed further as he lifted his head to meet her eyes. “How did you flunk history?”

 

“Because it's boring and I hate memorizing things?” tried Skye, continuing to give him the hopeful puppy look. “Please Ward?”

 

Silence met her plea for a long moment as the former specialist continued to stare at her like she was crazy. Maybe she was; Ward hadn't exactly finished school either. None the less, he nodded after a moment, standing from his cot and moving to the bars. “I will under one condition.”

 

“That I do everything you say?” joked Skye, cocking an eyebrow at him.

 

Ward shook his head slowly, pointing to the book in her hand. “I need you to leave the book here, so I know what you need to know.”

 

Skye thought she might be grinning and had to force her face to remain as neutral as she could make it. He was asking her to leave the book behind so he could help her and she knew it, but it was a start. Even if he just read the history sections, maybe it would give him ideas. Another part remind her that handing over that book could cause him to relapse, but it didn't stop her from sliding the study guide through the bars to Ward.

 

“What happened to you having read my GED book already?” teased Skye as he reached out and took the book from her.

 

Ward just shrugged in turn, setting the book on the cot and offering her the Harry Potter book. “I skimmed it before. I wasn't reading to retain what was inside.”

 

“Yet you can tell me the math section needed work,” reminded Skye with a smirk, tucking the Harry Potter book back in her bag. “So, Harry Potter isn't your thing, huh?”

 

The shrug Ward gave her was the closest thing to a non-answer as she imagined he could give without saying nothing at all. “It was far fetched.”

 

Nodding slowly, Skye leaned against the bars again, tilting her head slightly at Ward. “So what did you use to read? Like when you were a kid.”

 

“Whatever my parents handed me,” replied Ward. Tension laced his voice, but it was evident he was attempting to keep it completely neutral. He didn't offer further comment, but Skye didn't need it to figure out what he meant.

 

Skye couldn't even imagine not having the power to choose what she read. Okay, yeah, she didn't read a lot, but still, at least she'd chosen what she had read. Well, except in the orphanage. The nuns had been pretty adamant she read the bible at least once.

 

“Did you like anything they handed you?” asked Skye quietly, trying to imagine what his parents might have given him to read.

 

Sighing, Ward shot Skye a look. “Let's just say I'm not a great fan of Dickens and Shakespeare was a dirty man with a weird dick obsession.”

 

She barely suppressed a cringe. Oh, she was fixing this. “So, nothing with bad dick jokes or the name 'Dick' in the author line. Got it.”

 

Shaking his head, Ward gestured to the book bag Skye had brought with her. “Shouldn't you be studying?”

 

“What, I can't entertain you first?” asked Skye, pouting a little as if that would somehow help her point.

 

“You're procrastinating,” countered Ward, sitting back on his cot and flipping open the book. “Do your studying and I'll read this thing. That way when you come back, I can actually help you.”

 

Skye considered arguing for moment before shrugging and turning to her books. Ward was going to look through the GED book and that's basically what she'd been wanting him to do anyway. If he wanted to do it now, while she was still there, it was his choice. Besides, she really did need to study.

 

Glancing at Ward as she pulled out another copy of the same book, she noted he was already intently reading the copy she'd handed him. It was definitely a start. Settling in against the bars, Skye turned her focus to her own studying, allowing the silence to swallow them until the guards eventually came to kick her out. As they escorted her away from Ward's cell though, she noted he was watching over the edge of the book. There was something in his eyes, she caught a glimpse of it before he returned his gaze to the book in his hands. It was hard to say for sure, but she would have sworn he almost looked sad to see her go. Mentally, she forced it out of her mind. She'd see him again soon; he wasn't going to do this alone anymore.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, we needed something a bit happier after that mid-season finale. Now I admittedly have stopped watching AOS because I can't stand the writing any longer, but I've heard enough to know what happened. So enjoy some fun, friends, and a bit of a game as well.

-Chapter 6-  
  
Taking a deep breath, Skye mentally prepared herself for the awkward conversation that was about to happen. She just needed to be casual about it, that was all. Just casual. Smooth. They'd never know what she was up to as long as she didn't give anything away. She could totally pull this off and no one would ever be the wiser. As calmly as she could, Skye pushed open the door to the lab, shoving her hands in her pockets in an attempt to appear casual. She could do this.  
  
Immediately, she spotted Fitz as she entered, just the man she needed to see. He was seated at his workbench like he nearly always was, hands busy as he stared at something small and delicate held between his fingers. Then, her eyes slid to the wheelchair resting beside his seat, and the familiar twisting sensation in her stomach hit. Fitz’s condition was still hard for her to adjust to, namely because it was such a sharp change from before. Simmons took it the worst, of course; she was almost always fussing over him, to his great irritation. He’d even go so far as to snap at her occasionally for babying him. The whole team really did baby him, too. Skye tried not to, but it was hard. He’d fallen out of his chair more than a few times as he made the adjustment and on at least a handful of those occasions, he hadn’t been able to get back in. It was why Simmons was nearly always with him, unless she needed to run an errand or he kicked her out for annoying him.  
  
There was no sign of the biologist this time though. If that was because Fitz had booted her from the lab or she’d been called away, Skye wasn’t sure. For the moment though, it looked like Simmons was absent from her partner’s side and that was precisely what Skye needed.  
  
“Hey Fitz,” greeted Skye, doing her best to keep her heartrate and voice even. She wasn’t doing anything wrong; just asking a friend to borrow some books. That was all. The fact that they were for the man who was more or less directly (if probably unintentionally) responsible for her friend’s condition didn’t make it bad. Nope, not at all.  
  
Fitz’s head shot up as soon as she spoke, spinning on his stool rapidly. He teetered momentarily to Skye’s horror, but stabilized himself almost as quickly. Once he had stopped wobbling, he offered Skye a smile, though it was far more strained than it should have been. In that moment, she felt angry with Ward.  
  
Sitting in the prison with the broken man, it was hard to remember the damage he’d wrought on their team. Being faced with Fitz’s injury and the extent it limited him, watching him almost tip over, the anger returned like a flash fire. It disappeared as quickly though as the image of the broken man waking from sedation came to mind. Fitz was damaged because someone else had damaged Ward. Yes, it was Ward’s actions that injured Fitz so severely, but his actions weren’t necessarily his own. She needed to remember to ask him why he hadn’t just shot Fitz and Simmons. She knew he could force the door to that pod open, so why hadn’t he made sure they were dead?  
  
“Skye?” called Fitz, waving his hand a little in an attempt to get her attention. She blinked twice, shaking her head slowly to snap her attention back to reality. Right. She was here to consult with Fitz.  
  
“Sorry,” apologized Skye with a shake of her head, “guess I just zoned out for a moment there.”  
  
“Little too much study time?” suggested Fitz with a bit of a smile and a knowing nod. “I was like that when I was testing for my PhD.” Rubbing his hands on his legs a bit, he glancing around nervously before dropping his voice and leaning a little further towards her. “Did you get a minute to run that search I asked for?”  
  
Oh crap, the stuff he wanted her to search. She’d forgotten all about that.  
  
“You forgot,” stated Fitz, his face falling a little. “I get it. No rush, Skye.”  
  
“I’m so sorry Fitz,” apologized Skye, biting her lip a little. “I’ll do it as soon as I get back to my office.”  
  
“Of course,” agreed Fitz, though the doubt was apparent on his face. “So, what did you need?”  
  
Rubbing her neck a little, Skye shot Fitz a hopeful look. “I was actually looking to borrow some books from you. This whole language arts section is kicking my ass and I’m hoping if I read something different from what I usually do, I might get better at it. Or at least I’ll find a way to remember all this vocabulary.”  
  
Nodding, Fitz carefully shifted into his wheelchair and immediately began rolling towards the door out of the lab. “That’s not a bad idea. Come on, I’ll help you pick some out.”  
  
“Uh, I don’t want to distract you,” stated Skye, glancing at his work and mentally cursing. She’d been hoping he’d give her some suggestions and tell her where his books were located, not actively help her choose books. Damnit. Now she’d have to actually pretend she knew what she was looking for.  
  
“It’s fine,” dismissed Fitz, rolling out of the lab and into the hall. Skye was quick to follow, mentally cursing. “Simmons and Trip went off to run some errands, so I’ve got time today.”  
  
Well, that explained why Simmons wasn’t around. “If she shows up and you aren’t in the lab, won’t she get worried?”  
  
“She can call me,” countered Fitz as he rolled easily down the halls. “Besides, this is important.”  
  
That really made Skye cringe. Fitz had no clue she was asking for Ward; how could he? He thought he was helping her out, not the man who’d put him in that chair. She couldn’t let him think that. She’d just have to find a way to convince him she could do this on her own, maybe ask him for some suggestions and then go dig around online herself. There had to be a good book forum she could dig up or something- it was too bad no one online seemed to be able to agree on anything where it came to books.  
  
“Look Fitz, I really can do this alone,” insisted Skye even as Fitz keyed open the door to his bunk and lead her inside. “I won’t take anything if you aren’t comfortable with it. I mean, that’s what the internet is for.”  
  
“Could you shut my door?” requested Fitz, rolling up to his bookshelf as if he hadn’t heard a word she’d said. Which was weird because, well, Fitz never intentionally ignored anyone. Still, she reached back and shut the door before approaching the engineer wearily.  
  
Almost immediately, he passed her three books from his shelf without even glancing back, still focusing on his personal library. And Skye was pretty sure it qualified as a library- it seemed like Fitz had at least 500 books in his possession. At least.  
  
Taking the books, she flipped them sideways, glancing over the titles. “The Foundation Trilogy, Devil in the White City, and Snow Crashed?”  
  
“Classic science fiction, nonfiction, and modern science fiction,” confirmed Fitz, pulling off two more books and passing them to Skye as well.  
  
Again, she took the books, fanning them out to read their titles. “Hitch Hikers Guide To The Galaxy and The Hobbit.”  
  
“British humor and fantasy,” explained Fitz, again looking back at the shelf. “I don’t have any good mystery I don’t think. Wait! I have some LeBlanc…”  
  
“Fitz, why are you handing me all of these?” asked Skye, her head beginning to pound. Somehow, she doubted ‘Hitch Hikers Guide To the Galaxy’ would help with language arts, which begged the question of why Fitz had handed it to her.  
  
“You need books for Ward, right?’ asked Fitz, reaching up to snag a book from the shelf. “Ah! Here it is. Ward can read French, right?”  
  
“Uh, I think so?” tried Skye, almost completely floored by Fitz’s remark. How did he even know she’d been in contact with Ward? Better question, how did he know the books were for Ward? “Fitz, how did you know about the books?”  
  
“Ward’s shrink faxed some forms over and I was in your office dropping some papers off when it came in,” stated Fitz, finally looking back at Skye. He was clearly embarrassed, but there was something remarkably resolute about the look all the same. “You’ve been acting secretive and I know it was paranoid of me, but I needed to know what you were doing. So I looked up the number the fax came from and then called the prison. They put me in contact with a man, Dr. Calgrove. He told me everything.”  
  
Well that…. actually, that really explained a lot. But it still left her with one major question. “And you’re okay with this?”  
  
“He told me everything,” repeated Fitz with a sigh, fiddling with the book in his hands. “The file I asked you to do research on- it was on Ward. I didn’t want to say it without you confirming it, but I kind of suspected something wasn’t right.” Pausing slightly, Fitz took a deep breath as if fortifying himself before speaking again. “I… my da used to beat on my mum and I. We escaped eventually, but the damage was done. Mum’s never been the same and I still struggle sometimes to stand on my own. It’s part of why I looked up to Ward like I did before… well, before everything that happened.”  
  
Softening slightly, Skye shifted the books to one arm so she could rest her hand on his shoulder. “I don’t think Ward wanted to hurt you or Simmons, for the record. If he wanted you dead, he would have forced that door open and shot you both in the head. Instead, he dropped you out of a plane in an emergency pod. I haven’t asked him about it yet, but I’m going to.”  
  
“The pod was supposed to float,” stated Fitz quietly, shaking his head a little. “Supposedly, in an emergency, it can be released and anyone inside will be safe regardless of where it lands. The materials are adaptable. When they come in contact with water, bags around the edge are supposed to inflate. Apparently, it malfunctioned.”  
  
“I don’t think Ward wanted to hurt you two,” repeated Skye with a slightly frustrated sigh, stepping back and dropping onto Fitz’s bed. “Garrett really did a number on him. At minimum, I think he has some kind of Stockholm Syndrome. Apparently, Garrett left him alone in the woods with only ‘Buddy’ for company.”  
  
“Who’s Buddy?” asked Fitz curiously, rolling over next to the bed.  
  
Skye shrugged. “I have no clue. I think he was a dog? Ward said something about letting Buddy go, which was apparently not what he was told to do.”  
  
“A dog,” repeated Fitz slowly, his eyes momentarily zoning out. “A dog would have protected him, right?”  
  
“If he was alone in the woods with it for five years? Definitely,” confirmed Skye, her brow furrowing. “What are you thinking?”  
  
For a moment, Fitz just opened and closed his mouth, as if he couldn’t figure out how to put words to what he was thinking. When he finally did speak, it was slow and deliberate. “Ward looked… distressed when he pulled the lever that dropped the pod. Simmons and I were begging him to let us go and I could see him fighting with himself about something. At the time, I thought we were getting to him, but then he said something about Garrett always getting what he wanted or something like that. That Garrett would do it if he didn’t, maybe?”  
  
“Ward’s exact words on the subject of Buddy were ‘I proved myself in those woods, even if I did let Buddy go’,” repeated Skye slowly, her eyes widening in horror as her stomach dropped out. God, if what Fitz was saying was true, Garrett might have ordered Ward to hurt or possibly kill Buddy. And if Ward hadn’t been able to, then maybe Garrett had done it instead. It was a complete guess of course, but it fit with what Fitz said Ward had done and it would explain why Ward had still dropped them out of the plane. It would have been the only way to get them away from Garrett mid-flight. “Garrett was the one who ordered Ward to kill you guys, right?”  
  
“Pretty sure,” confirmed Fitz, pulling a face. “That was what I heard, anyway. You’d have to confirm that with Simmons.”  
  
Simmons…oh fuck. She’d forgotten about Simmons. Her head snapped up so fast at the thought, she should have probably been worried about whiplash. “Does Simmons know I’ve been visiting Ward?”  
  
“No,” assured Fitz as if he could see what she was thinking. “Simmons would go straight to Coulson and he’d go off about it.” Shaking his head a little, he held the book in his hands out to her. “I trust you, Skye. Ward needs help; what he did… there was something off. He was too hesitant. I thought- I thought we’d even gotten through to him at one point. Then he saw something and his face transformed. Next minute, he pulled the lever.”  
  
“That is weird,” admitted Skye, her lips thinning. “Ward didn’t exactly have trouble shooting people. Well, not normally.” She paused then, biting her lip a little as she mentally debated her next words. She hadn’t talked to anyone about when Ward had kidnapped her, not really. Yeah, she’d given Coulson a brief overview of everything Ward had said that she thought was useful, but some things she’d refused to discuss. Like how he’d treated her. “He wouldn’t hurt me, either. I literally came at him, punching and hitting him, everything. All he did was restrain me.”  Her eyes dropped to the floor; this next part wasn’t something she felt like she could tell Fitz while looking him in the eye. “He swore he’d never hurt me.”  
  
“That’s why you went to the prison originally,” stated Fitz softly, the edge of his chair coming into view as he rolled close to her.  
  
“I needed to figure him out,” confirmed Skye quietly. It felt stupid to say it like that, but the whole reason she’d gone to the prison was to find out why Ward had betrayed them. The fact that he refused to hurt her proved it was probably more complicated than ‘I’m evil’. He hadn’t seemed reluctant, but his repeated insistences he wasn’t Hydra, the fact he wouldn’t hurt her, and the way he kept bringing up Garrett, it had all been weird. It had just taken her a bit to see that was what had made her question his actions.  
  
“How’s that going?” asked Fitz with a touch of sarcasm. It made Skye smile a bit. Fitz was right, Ward wasn’t exactly an open book when it came to personal stuff. Still, she wondered how much of Ward’s condition Dr. Calgrove had actually conveyed and how much he’d left out.  
  
“Better than you’d think, though I blame the psychological break Ward suffered after my second visit for that one,” admitted Skye with a sigh. That image of Ward destroying his cell in complete anguish would probably haunt her for a while; she just hoped it wouldn’t be the rest of her life.  
  
“Psychological break?” repeated Fitz, his eyebrows shooting up. “What do you mean?”  
  
Sighing, Skye drew her legs up so she could fold them in front of her and mentally prepared to relay the recent events regarding Ward to Fitz. Who knew- maybe the engineer would have some personal insight they’d find helpful. Maybe he’d even have a way to help get Ward on the road to recovery. It would be a long one, but if they could help him start, then maybe someday, he’d finally be whole again.  
  


* * *

  
Stepping into the hall leading to Ward’s cell, Skye was pretty sure she’d never felt her back so tense. The books she’d picked out with Fitz were like stones in her bag and every step forward felt ominous. This felt like a bad idea. The whole plan felt like a really bad idea. When Fitz had suggested this plan, she’d balked. He’d been insistent though, and she ultimately couldn’t refuse the engineer.  
  
As soon as she stepped in front of the cell, she knew this whole idea would either turn out great or horrible. Ward was sprawled out on his bed, the GED test book she’d left with him open in his lap. He looked like he’d read the whole thing since she’d last been there which, well, he probably had. From what she could tell, he was kept more or less in isolation. He looked like he had every other time she’d come out to visit. It was only the look on his face when he raised his head towards her, the way he paled and his eyes turned wide and horrified- that was what made her question this decision big time.  
  
What if he went into a blind rage? Or had another breakdown? Calgrove would be pissed if they had to sedate him again and she didn’t really want to see Ward back in that observation wing. The way they’d all watched him like he would tear them all apart wasn’t exactly good for his recovery. Then there was the fact that he’d basically tried to use sarcasm to drive her away on her first visit. Would he do that again? That would not help-  
  
“Skye.” The tension in Ward’s voice snapped Skye from her thoughts, bringing her attention entirely onto her former SO. The way he sounded, the way he looked as he stared into the hall behind her, made her wonder if he was going to start throwing things again.  
  
“Hey Ward,” greeted Skye, keeping her voice as level as possible. It was hard when his face was blank like that though- she couldn’t predict what he was going to do next, or what he was thinking. It made her nervous. “How’re things going?”  
  
“They haven’t moved me to the nuthouse part of the prison yet,” replied Ward, his voice distant as he focused on a spot just behind Skye. “That shrink still wants to move me, though.”  
  
“Believe it or not, he’s trying to help you,” remarked Skye with a roll of her eyes, setting her bag on the ground in front of the cell. “Besides, you know if he moved you to observation, we could talk without staring at each other through bars.”  
  
“Monsters should be behind bars,” stated Ward, his voice wavering in a way that suggested he was under a lot more emotional stress than he was letting on. Not that Skye could blame him- she would be too in his shoes.  
  
“Yeah, well, I’m gonna talk about us using the library for these chats,” continued Skye, nodding to the book still in his lap. “It’d be nice to use a table rather than the floor.”  
  
“Pretty sure I suggested a library the second time you showed up,” reminded Ward, his voice just a touch sarcastic. It still had that distant tone to it, but he at least sounded a little closer to normal.  
  
“Third,” corrected Skye, glancing behind her at the same spot Ward was. “Besides, with Fitz along for the ride, it might be a little cramped sitting in front of your cell.”  
  
Fitz made a noise of agreement, his eyes scanning the area nervously like he expected someone to jump out at them. Which he actually might be- it would explain his silence since they’d entered the halls. “This is where they’re housing him?”  
  
“This and the observation wing,” confirmed Skye as she cast a critical eye around the hall as well. “It’s actually nicer than observation, believe it or not.”  
  
“I don’t believe that,” muttered Fitz, glancing at Ward a little nervously. “Observation was a medical facility right? It was at least clean!”  
  
“This place was clean too, before Ward decided to turn his books into confetti,” stated Skye, offering Ward a smile to try to show she was joking before bending to her bag. “Which is why I come bearing gifts. Specifically, books.”  
  
“You aren’t supposed to feed the animals,” stated Ward, his earlier sarcasm somewhat overshadowed by his own self-loathing.  
  
Skye scoffed a little and pulled three books from her bag, setting them on the ground beside her. “Good thing books aren’t food, then.”  
  
“They’re food for the mind!” exclaimed Fitz, clearly scandalized by the idea that Skye would denounce the value of books. There was a teasing note to his voice though, almost jovial. Almost a little normal. “Books are wonderful! They teach you anything you want!”  
  
Skye’s lips tilted up at that, her body shifting to glance back at the scientist like she thought he was crazy. She opened her mouth to make a remark about the internet being the best book ever written, but her words were cut off by a somewhat angry outburst before she could speak.  
  
“What the actual fuck?” asked Ward, standing suddenly and half prowling towards the bars. His eyes scanned Fitz, taking in the wheelchair and the man currently in it. The guilt in his gaze said he knew exactly why the scientist was in that chair, too. Or at least he thought he knew the reason- she still wasn’t sure anyone had actually told him what happened to Fitz. “Fitz, what are you even doing here? This isn’t the place for you!” Fitz actually recoiled a little at Ward’s shout, particularly when her former SO suddenly grabbed the bars to glare at him. “This is the kind of place where they lock up monsters and throw away the key, not where they send scientists who need babysitters!”  
  
“Ward!” snapped Skye, immediately recognizing his words for what they were- an attempt to drive Fitz away. It was the same shit he’d pulled with her, just aimed at Fitz this time.  
  
Except there was something harsher about his reaction to Fitz- something sharper. If he was trying to protect the scientist from something or if he felt guilty for Fitz’s condition, she wasn’t sure, but it was clear he felt the scientist shouldn’t be there. His words were disjointed and almost random, clearly meant to drive the scientist off. His words had no connection to their conversation up to that point; there was no other reason for him to snap like that.  
  
Ward’s eyes moved from Fitz to her almost instantly, the swirling anger nowhere near enough to mask the pain and guilt that battled for dominance in his gaze. It confirmed her theory that Ward was trying to push Fitz away to protect him.  
  
“What Skye, are you really going to argue?” growled Ward as he gestured to Fitz, releasing the bars and stepping away a little. “At least you can protect yourself. Fitz can’t even stand up on his own.”  
  
“That isn’t true!” exclaimed Fitz, almost immediately reaching down to undo the strap that helped keep him in the chair. Skye had convinced him it was a good idea while they were in the prison- what would happen if they needed to make a quick get away? Fitz would need to be strapped in.  
  
It took the scientist less than 30 seconds to remove the strap and grip the arms of his chair, hoisting himself carefully to his feet. He was shaky and it was visible in his legs, but he was standing all the same. He wasn’t fully wheel chair bound, but him being up tended to make everyone nervous. From the way he paled, Skye guessed even Ward was afraid of what might happen to Fitz in that moment.  
  
“See?” asked Fitz, spreading his arms a little as if to say ‘look at me, you were wrong’. “I can get out of my chair whenever I want to. I even do physical therapy to help with the stiffness and keep my muscles up!”  
  
“Fitz, sit down,” ordered Ward, some of the man he’d been on the Bus- her SO and their specialist- coming through in that moment. The concern, the need to protect he’d always displayed, was written in his voice and eyes in that moment. “You’re going to get hurt.”  
  
“No, I’m not,” stated Fitz firmly, taking a shaky step towards the bars. He had to reach out with one hand to brace himself against the metal bars of the cell, wobbling a bit as he moved, but he managed to step up all the same so he was directly in front of Ward and beside Skye. “See? I can even walk.”  
  
“Kinda,” corrected Skye, almost without thought. She didn’t like reminding Fitz about his limitations, but he’d fallen more than a few times since he’d woken up and they didn’t need that happening during their visit. The warden would not be happy.  
  
Then again, Ward didn’t look happy about it. He eyed Fitz’s hand where it was wrapped around the bars, almost like he thought it could hurt him somehow. Then again, who knew what Ward knew about Fitz’s condition. Technically, it was Ward’s fault Fitz had been injured, but even Fitz had admitted that Ward had no way of knowing a scalpel would end up lodged in his spine. No one had any way of knowing that. Plus, Fitz had acknowledged the pod had failed- that it should have floated to the surface and not sank like a rock.  
  
“I can walk,” repeated Fitz firmly, shooting Skye a faint glare. “I can’t walk well, but I can walk.”  
  
Nodding faintly, Ward slowly approached the bars, still staring at Fitz’s hand like he thought the scientist might hurt him somehow. Then again, Fitz had built some pretty weird weapons, so who knew what Ward was thinking he could do. Still, to her great surprise, she watched as Ward slowly reached out and touched Fitz’s fingers. He half looked like he expected them to vanish under his hand or something equally weird. When they didn’t, he carefully wrapped his hand around the top of Fitz’s, squeezing gently. “I’m sorry.”  
  
Those two words echoed in the nearly uncomfortable silence that followed like breaking glass in a cafeteria. She had to admit- she hadn’t expected that. Given Ward had never apologized for kidnapping her or subjecting her to danger or having to watch as he was tortured which, yeah, that had been hard. She hadn’t liked him in that moment, but she hadn’t wanted to see him tortured either. Yet, here he was apologizing to Fitz. It should probably piss her off on some level, but she understood all the same. Fitz was permanently scarred in a very visible, physical way. She wasn’t.  
  
Fitz stared at Ward’s hand over his for a long moment, the shaking becoming a little worse for a second before he shifted that hand around so he could gently grip Ward’s. He didn’t offer any words, just the simple bit of contact. It spoke louder than words ever could have.  
  
The silence seemed to stretch on forever as the two men just stood there, gripping one another’s hands though the bars. It was Fitz who finally did break the silence, his words quiet but probing, if not a little shaken. “I don’t like to blame you for what happened. It was literally unpredictable that the pod would fail or that I’d get stabbed by something as we escaped. You had no way of knowing any of that would occur for sure, but you also had no way of ensuring we’d be saved either. So, why did you do it? Why did you drop the pod? We saw you hesitate.”  
  
At first, Skye thought Ward wouldn’t answer. The way he paled and averted his eyes, the way his fingers tightened further over Fitz’s in a way that reflected his discomfort with the question, and the way his whole body stiffened indicated he probably wouldn’t answer. Fitz must have picked up on the fact, because he added: “I deserve to know, Ward.” Pause, shaky breath. “Normally I wouldn’t push, but I need to know why before I do anything else. What did you see in the hall that changed your mind? Garrett?”  
  
“Deathlok,” corrected Ward quietly, his other hand curling into a fist at his side. His eyes slid closed as he spoke, the tension in his body rising. “I saw Deathlok coming. He was under Garrett’s control; I don’t know how, but I know he was. He would have done whatever Garrett wanted. If I hadn’t dropped the pod, Deathlok would have killed you by shooting you. I-” He paused, the words seeming to catch in his throat. “I’m not sure if I did it because I wanted you guys to survive or if I didn’t want to let Garrett down again, but I dropped the pod because Deathlok was heading for us.”  
  
“Certain death at Deathlok’s hands or potential death in a pod in the ocean,” stated Fitz slowly, nodding a little. “You made the call you thought you should.”  
  
“I made the only call I could,” corrected Ward as he took a deep breath and slowly straightened back up. “The pod wasn’t supposed to sink.”  
  
“I know,” assured Fitz, giving Ward’s hand a soft squeeze. “I wanted to make sure you did, too.”  
  
Ward’s brow furrowed in the way it had before, including the frown. It was such a familiar look, Skye felt her heart rate kick up. It was instances like that that made her question how much of the Grant Ward they’d spent time with actually was the real Grant Ward, regardless of what Ward himself tried to say on the matter.  
  
“Why would that matter?” asked Ward at last, shaking his head a little. “You got hurt because of me, Fitz. That isn’t- it’s the last thing I wanted.”  
  
“Because knowing you were trying to save us means I can forgive you,” explained Fitz calmly, as if the statement made complete sense. “Which I do.” Releasing Ward’s hand, he returned his grip to the jail bars and offered Ward a grin. “Also, I wanted to do that while standing and I’m not sure I can actually stay standing much longer. Do you think you could accept so I can sit down again?”  
  
“Your forgiveness?” asked Ward, still apparently completely confused. Skye had to admit, she was a little lost, too.  
  
“Yes,” confirmed Fitz, nodding his head sagely even as his legs began to wobble harder. Skye cursed and moved the chair so it was directly behind him, placing it in a position where it could theoretically catch him if it came to that.  
  
Ward cursed slightly, nodding all the same. “Yeah, I accept Fitz. Just sit down.”  
  
“Thank you,” thanked Fitz, carefully climbing back into the chair as Skye held it steady.  
  
Once she was sure he was properly seated and wouldn’t fall out, Skye moved to stand near the bars again, scoping back up the books she’d brought before and holding them out to Ward. “Here, books. Just don’t tear these ones up- they belong to Fitz.”  
  
Hesitantly, Ward eyed the books before carefully accepting them from Skye. His fingers danced slightly along the spines, turning the stack to the side to check the titles. His brow furrowed further though, confusion written across his face as he glanced once more at Skye and Fitz. “I’ve never heard of these.”  
  
“They’re excellent,” assured Fitz, wheeling closer to the bars and shoving one hand through to point to one of the titles. “‘Devil in the White City’ is a historic narrative, meaning it was written in a novelized style using real historic documents and accounts to piece together the story. I think you’ll like that best, given what you usually read.” His finger slid to the next title down. “‘The Hobbit’ is just classic fantasy. Tolkien set the standard for the entire fantasy genre.” One more, his finger dropped down, this time to the last title in the stack. “And that was Skye’s choice. She thought we should give you the second Harry Potter book even though you didn’t seem fond of the first.”  
  
“It’s a series,” insisted Skye, pouting a little and folding her arms over her chest. It was childish, but her hope was that at least one of them would laugh. Both men just gave her the same droll look though, drawing a put-upon sigh from her. “They get better, but you have to either read the books or watch the movies to get the later stories and you don’t have a TV in here, so…”  
  
“So I have to read them,” surmised Ward, shaking his head a little and setting the books aside. “Fine, which one of these should I read first?’  
  
“Whatever one you want to,” stated Skye, mentally holding her breath to see how he would react. The reason she was so insistent on giving him three unconnected books was to see how he did with making decisions. Admittedly, she wasn’t hopeful. Choosing a book probably wouldn’t be easy for him and, more than likely, he’d decide against reading the books all together. She just really hoped he wouldn’t destroy them like he had his own books. That would suck for poor Fitz. Well, and for her; she’d owe Fitz a lot of money.  
  
Staring at Skye for a moment, Ward slowly looked down at the three books before setting them aside and reaching for Skye’s study book. “You wanted help with history, so let’s discuss history.”  
  
“World or US?” asked Fitz curiously, tilting his head a little in an attempt to see the book. It wouldn’t help of course, Ward had the book firmly shut in his hands. It did prompt Skye to drig out her copy of the same book and pass it to Fitz though.  
  
“Both,” stated Ward, flipping the book open and glancing up at Skye. “Where did you leave off with the history work in your book?”  
  


* * *

  
“Ugh, I think my head is going to explode!” complained Skye as she stared at the ceiling of the prison. The book beneath her head was hard, and that honestly might have been what was making it hurt, but she wasn’t about to admit to that. It felt like they’d been discussing history for forever.  
  
Beside her, Fitz gave her an exasperated look, as did Ward from his place on the floor, on the other side of the bars. Both men had been tag-teaming her on the history of colonial America and she was seriously starting to regret bringing Fitz with her to the prison.  
  
“We’ve barely been at it a few hours!” exclaimed Fitz, as if Skye’s complaints were completely unwarranted.  
  
Ward shook his head at her, running a hand through his hair in a way that said he found her infuriating in that moment. “When is she registered to take this test again?”  
  
“Five months now,” stated Fitz with a shake of his head. “Not sure she’s even started the science portion.”  
  
“I can do science and math!” exclaimed Skye, waving her hands around in a complicated pattern that was meant to be the standard encompassing circle but somehow got distorted in the process. “It’s the history and reading stuff I suck at.”  
  
“And that’s why you asked me for help,” reminded Ward, even as he ear-marked the book and closed it. “I can do that stuff.”  
  
“And I want you to help me do that stuff, not liquefy my brain!” countered Skye, offering him an upside down pout. “Can’t we take a break? Please?”  
  
“We could break,” agreed Fitz slowly, glancing at Skye nervously. Immediately, it put Skye on high alert. She knew that look- Fitz had something planned. Whatever it was, she hoped it wouldn’t get them banned from the prison. There were a lot of rules about prisoners, most of which Calgrove let her break in the spirit of helping him psychologically fix Ward. The scientist had brought a bag with him for their visit, one Skye thought had contained work for him to do while she and Ward studied. Now though, he reached for it for the first time since they had come into the hall, rummaging around inside for a moment before extracting two very familiar looking cases.  
  
Offering one to Skye, he kept one for himself and flipped it open in his lap. She immediately flipped hers open as well, her stomach flipping slightly as she recognized the familiar Battleship board. Had he seriously snuck these into the prison? They were going to be in major trouble if they were caught. Her books were one thing- they were paper. Thick, ridged plastic though? That was another story. Behind her, she felt Ward crowd close to the bars, his own sharp inhale echoing practically in her ear at the sight of the game.  
  
“Fitz-” started Skye, only for the scientist to wave her off with a hand.  
  
“I got permission, Skye,” stated Fitz as he began to move pieces around. “Calgrove said we couldn’t give a case to Ward because it could be dangerous, but he can play with you or me, as a teammate, and it’s fine.”  
  
“Alright,” agreed Skye, smirking a little as she looked back at Ward. “So Ward, who do you wanna team up with? Me or Fitz?”  
  
Ward raised his eyebrow in challenge, glancing back and forth between them. For a moment, she could see the struggle starting to emerge in his eyes. It hadn't been lost on her earlier that he'd set the books aside after she told him that he could read them in any order he wanted. It didn't mean anything of course- he might decide later when there weren't visitors. This time though, he didn't defer the choice. It took a moment, but he finally stopped looking between them and focused on Fitz. “I know you, Skye. You’ll beat Fitz into the ground if he doesn’t have my help.”  
  
“Hey!” exclaimed Fitz indignantly, his fingers pausing in his set-up. “How do you know I won’t beat her?”  
  
“Because I couldn’t beat her and I’m trained in tactics,” countered Ward, giving Fitz the ‘are you serious?’ look. “Have you ever beat her?”  
  
“Yes!” stated Fitz, puffing out his chest a little. “Once!”  
  
“Did she let you win?” asked Ward, giving the scientist a knowing look.  
  
Fitz deflated a bit at that, his shoulders slumping slightly as he pouted. “Maybe.”  
  
“You have no proof of that,” stated Skye, though she could feel the corners of her mouth tugging slightly upwards. “You won, fair and square.” Both Fitz and Ward shot her disbelieving looks before Fitz maneuvered closer to the bars so Ward could see his case as well. She just dropped the subject and quickly set up her board. “Fine, but no cheating Ward! You’re at an angle.”  
  
“We don’t have to cheat to beat you, Skye,” stated Ward confidently, leaning on the bars to see the board better.  
  
“We might have to cheat a little,” remarked Fitz in a quiet voice, though Skye could hear him pretty clearly.  
  
She just shook her head and went back to setting up her board. “Just let me know when you’re ready to lose.”  
  


* * *

  
She ended up winning all but one game, which she admittedly let them win because she felt bad they’d lost so horribly. One game they hadn’t even managed to hit any of her ships. Of course, the guards eventually came and kicked them out, though she noted it was past five when they did. As they were packing up their stuff and getting ready to go though, she noticed something odd about Ward. Where he usually showed indifference to her visit, he looked almost a little sad this time. He’d never acted like he actually wanted her to come back again and he still wasn’t, but there was something in his eyes that said he was sad to see them go. It actually made her not want to leave him. That wasn’t possible of course- he was in prison after all. But maybe someday, that wouldn’t be the case. It was the first time since she started visiting she allowed herself to consider the idea that, maybe, they wouldn’t be talking with bars between them one day. And maybe, maybe someday, she wouldn’t be leaving the prison without him.  
  



End file.
